One Key to Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is not as hard to develop as you may think. Using the word "NO" will help you to get better self-esteem. While this may seem oversimplified to you that two-letter word can be one of the hardest things for some people to say.

You probably have a few people in your life that are always asking you to do things for them. These people always seem to be using you, because they know that you will not say no. While helping other people is a good thing most of the time, it may not always be good for you.

What to do

Write down on a piece of paper the things that people ask you to do. See for yourself if they keep asking the same thing repeatedly, and how frequently. This will assist you in regaining control over your life and developing your self-esteem. If people know that every time they ask you for something you can't say no, they come to expect you to do it. You become their doormat that they use to wipe their feet on

The only thing that comes from always saying yes is people expect you to take care of their problems for them. By having to do things for other people all the time you lose your self-esteem. Those people do not respect you and most the time do not even appreciate you. You may find that you sometimes do not even get a thank you, and when you do, they are insincere and just keeping you on a string for them to pull again. Because they know, you cannot say no.

This does not mean that you can never say yes to people to help them out. For your self-esteem you cannot allow other people to use you to do everything for them, if you do not have the time or just cannot stand to do what they ask, you have every right to say no

The response

Once you have your list of things that they always expect from you come up with some responses, let them know you will not be able to do that thing for them. Your self-esteem will soar as you practice these responses in front of the mirror. Practice until you can say it with a calm and clear voice, and be firm.

As an example; say you have a friend who is always calling you to go get her kids from school. She does not call you because she is stuck at work. She calls you because she is out shopping or at the hairdresser. Sometimes you agree even if you had other plans, you sacrifice your self-esteem by thinking they will respect you more if you do this for them. In reality, the opposite is true; they respect you less and use you to their benefit.

So to preserve your self-esteem you need to come up with a response. You could say; "I will not be able to do that, as I have plans for this afternoon", or " you will need to start picking up your own children as I have things that I need to do myself". Make sure to add in things about how you do not feel it is fair for her to call you every time she wants to go run around, and not take care of her responsibilities.

Again, regardless of whatever you come up with, practice saying it in front of the mirror until you can say it calmly and confidently, and get your point across.

The reward

The only way you will ever get respect from people is to expect it. When other people do not respect you, your self-esteem suffers. You deserve to be treated with equal respect. Don't let anybody tell you any different, and if they try make sure to disagree, calmly of course.

You are a unique individual; there is not another person in the universe exactly like you. For this reason you deserve to be respected, of course is not the only reason, for your own self-esteem you have the right as a human being to demand respect.

You will need to retrain those people who use you to your new way of thinking.

If you have always said yes, then the first time you say no, make sure they understand that from now on things are different. You can no longer be expected to do things for them that they can do for themselves. You can tell them that you care about them, but that you have a life and have things you want to do.

If they keep asking use your judgment, if it is something they can do then tell them no. You have the right to live your dreams, it is your life to live, and your self-esteem will rise until you are confident and garner the respect you know you deserve.

Be Blessed

Did you find the information useful? You can find more about it at my Blog: True Happiness