One Mother's Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mothers don't want things for Mother's Day. We don't want flowers or jewelry, and we especially don't want candy! We don't need or want tangible tokens of appreciation for rearing our children and providing them a home. We don't want our children to spend their money on disposable things for Mother's Day. We want them to invest their money in their own future or donate that money to a worthy cause.

Mother's Day is a great day to donate money to the Nothing But Nets campaign (http://www.nothingbutnets.net/) to help fight malaria, which is a leading killer of children in Africa. Mother's Day would be a fine time to make a contribution to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (http://www.madd.org/), or to fight poverty all over the world by donating to one.org (http://one.org/#) in honor of or in memory of one's mother. Mothers want the world to be a better place for their own children, but also for all children.

Celebrating Mother's Day is ideal opportunity to go a homeless shelter and invite a homeless mom and her children to breakfast. Take them somewhere nice. Take them where you would have taken your mother. Mother's Day is also a wonderful time to stop by a nursing home or assisted living facility and ask if you can visit a mom who doesn't have anyone coming by to see her.

Mother's Day is a time when every woman in a person's life should be honored, thanked, and celebrated. My children have both had many surrogate mothers in their lives. Some of those surrogate moms were teachers at school who took extra time to help them with a problem or a school issue. Some of their "other mothers" were parents of their friends who kept an open door and open mind. Some of those surrogate moms don't have children of their own, or lost their own children. All of them were important to my children. These women should also be celebrated on Mother's Day. The women who didn't bear my children, but certainly nurtured and cared about my children, are the ones who deserve a card and a thank you on Mother's Day too.

A Mother's Day holiday is not necessary, in my humble opinion. I personally don't want one day out of the year on which my children feel forced to make an effort to recognize me. Mother's Day doesn't need to entail being taken out to breakfast and told to put my feet up for the day. I don't need to be given a card someone else composed about all the happy memories and the good times of childhood. There were, of course, many good times and fond memories. There was some yelling too, as I recall, and also some tears. Every moment wasn't sunshine, but neither was is stormy. Mother's do the best they can. That is our duty, responsibility, privilege, and honor.

Mothers want their children to turn out well. I don't mean perfect. I don't mean well in comparison to someone else. I don't mean rich or powerful. I mean we want our children to be decent people with good values. Mother's Day should be a day when children call their mother and thank them for teaching them manners, and how to cook, and sew a button on a shirt. Mothers would love to hear their children tell them they now understand the value of a dollar and why being good stewards of the earth's resources is important. Mother's Day should be a day when children tell their mom they appreciate the ways she taught them to be good citizens and good neighbors. Mother's Day is a day for children to tell their mom they're glad she never told them they could do anything they wanted to when they grew up - but they could certainly be anything they wanted.