One Night Stands and Women

It was poker night and I listened intently as my friend Delia decided to share her personal account of her one and only one night stand. I wasn't real thrilled that she had chosen poker night at my house to reveal this in front of our guy friends but, c'est la vie, the cat was out of the bag. I watched as the male eyes in the room all turned to tight evil slits. Their body language changed and they started exchanging nonverbal cues amongst themselves.

They could have saved the lame game because Delia brought it to them correct. She broke it down for them to where they could understand without question exactly what she was saying. She had been traveling on business in the D.C. area when at the close of business she joined a few colleagues for dinner and drinks. They went to Georgetown to a quaint little bar that happened to be packed that night very much like the one in the movie St. Elmo's Fire with a live band, fire place,nice energy and a very nice vibe. There was a nice mixed crowd of students, yuppies, politicians, academia, and tourists. She got to having a good time, in fact a great time I dare to say and met a guy. They talked for hours, danced, drank, had dinner, kicked it the rest of the night and the rest is history. She had a one night stand.

At first the guys sat back, took things in and sort of marinated on the information they had just taken in. And then curiosity kicked in, the body language shifted and the questioning began. The first thing they wanted to know was if she called him the next day. One question floored me. One of our friends asked her "Did you tell him the truth about who you were?" "Did you agree on the terms of the evening?" And of course the obvious "did you use protection?" And finally put more so in a statement rather than a question, "So you don't you really expect to hear from him again? Do you? It was after all a one night stand." Followed by a real weak laugh, and body language indicative of extreme insecurity. I was amazed at the judgment being passed in the room. The whole time I was listening to them I was thinking how they had to be generating questions based on personal experience. Ya think? Men see themselves in the role of a one night stand, but have a hard time envisioning a women doing the same thing. Why is this?

Male population seriously, listen up, we all need a truth sayer. Please, I implore you, just this one day allow me to be yours. As far as being superheroes, knights in shining armor, Princes and all that other archetype "stuff", especially your rushing in to save the day, you are over rated, that image is shattered especially for the current generation. Look around you. Women have taken their power and taken charge of their lives. Most of us don't plan our lives around you. We have our own plans. Just realize Bucko, that sometimes you all give yourself way too much credit. You say we operate out of an emotional bag. You all operate out of an "ego" bag." Knock knock! Wake up. If it is a one night stand chances are we don't want your freaking telephone number! Get a clue.

I don't think it's categorically true that women in general cannot handle one night stands. I think it depends on how secure the woman is and why she chose to engage in "the moment" in the first place. There is another whole subset of people out there who can't handle it. Let's just call it like it is. Everyone can't do this. If you are needy and you need to walk away that night with a phone number, then you might not want to play this game. If you are looking for someone to have your children or looking for a spouse, I advise against this. More importantly if you are a stalker, wound a little tight, and change clothes around twelve times a day to accommodate each of your personalities, you might want to rethink your options and spare the other person heart ache. If you are allergic to rejection or possible rejection sends you into a state of psychosis, don't do it. Do not try this at home.

A one night stand can mean many things to many people or it can mean absolutely nothing. Does gender influence the way one views a one night stand? In 2006 have the rules of engagement changed?