One Parent's Opinion: Child Leashes

A lot of people react strongly to the use of child leashes. People against them complain that they are degrading and compare use of them to treating a child like a dog. They claim they are an excuse to cover up for sloppy parenting skills- a device for parents too lazy or too busy to worry about holding their child close, keeping a better eye on them, and teaching the child safe behavior in public.

There are a few problems with the connection of leashes to inadequate parenting. The first problem is that we are not talking about twelve year olds, or eight year olds- children on leashes are generally between the ages of one and four. At this age, children are hard-wired to begin seeking some independence and test boundaries. They are also small and sometimes hard to spot even a few feet away from you if there are a lot of obstacles or taller people in an area. And even a well behaved child can get carried away with excitement at places such as amusement parks or public holiday festivals, forgetting for a moment to stay by their adult.

Even excellent parents with a very well behaved child can find their two year old testing a boundary once in a while, or getting distracted, or getting a few feet ahead of a parent and being swallowed up by a crowd- why risk it happening in an unsecured, unfamiliar place with many strangers milling around? No matter how well or how early you teach your child rules and discipline, learning is a process (one that some kids catch on to more quickly than others). Even well-behaved toddlers are not immune to making mistakes or bad choices once in a while. Even outstanding parents who have successfully produced five well-behaved, calm, attentive, rule-abiding toddlers can find their sixth child has his own agenda.

There are also problems with the argument that parents using leashes are just lazy and simply don't want to be bothered holding their child's hand or keeping an eye out. While it is important for a parent to always try to keep one eye on the child and keep aware of their child by their side, parents are human, too. Sometimes you need to take your child out to run errands or get things done, and you have to split your attention. You can't always eliminate distractions in crowds- someone bumps into you, you're trying to shop or juggle packages, someone behind you calls your name, you need to stop and look for a map or fish tickets out of your purse. It is unrealistic to think that parents can go around keeping their eyes and attention entirely and exclusively fixed on their child- and it can only take seconds for a tiny tot to wander off and get lost in a crowd. Getting distracted for a few seconds is not lazy, it's human. The child leash is simply a back up so that if your head turns for a moment, your child doesn't take off.

Consider this- if you had a pool in your back yard, you could try to teach your two year old to float or swim to avoid drowning, and you would endlessly lecture your child about not going out back by the pool alone. You would keep an eye on them as you went about your daily chores. However, you would still probably want to put a fence around the pool, or lock up the yard- a safety measure, just in case. Would that make you a lazy parent? Would that mean you're failing to properly discipline your child to follow the rules? No- you have taken every reasonable precaution, there's nothing wrong with an added measure to avert a potential disaster. Child leashes are just that- added safety measures to avoid potential disaster.

If you feel secure in taking your child out in public, if you feel the leash is truly unnecessary, then you shouldn't use one. However, not all children are the same. We have to allow each parent to use their own judgement based on their own child's personality and their own concerns.

As for the leash being degrading- likening it to treating your child like a dog or a pet- do you feel as strongly about cribs and play pens? After all, aren't they just cages, like in zoos?

Let's face it- mobile babies and toddlers need some kind of restraints or barriers to keep them safe. Words and expectations are simply not enough. If it were as simple as just telling a toddler what not to do, we would have no need for stairway gates, locks on the doors or fenced-in yards. When we have a child of this age, our lives revolve around ensuring they are safe in their environment. For some people, child leashes are simply one of the many devices available. As parents, we should be applauding each other for taking such measures, not condemning them for it.

And if you have never had children but are still vehemently anti-leash, if you think just talking to a child of that age should be enough, I urge you to take a relatively rambunctious two year old who has just discovered the joys of running, who is all excited after their first trip to the zoo and hyped up on cotton candy and cracker jack, into the New York City subways at rush hour. Then we'll talk.