One Women's Breast Cancer Struggles

Tomorrow Rhonda has her second chemo appointment and in the past 3 weeks she has experience a variety of side effects and struggled to deal with them. Shortly after chemo #1 Rhonda was feeling very weak; she slept most of the first few days following treatment. Once her energy level increase slightly she began to feel nauseated and even with the prescribed anti-medics (anti-nausea) meds she was still unable to keep anything down.

Rhonda's tastes had changed and now things she usually loved to eat she was unable too. Her mother tried to encourage electrolyte drinks, but they did not help. At one store a sales women suggested vitamin water Rhonda found the light flavour of the water easy to tolerate and she enjoyed it. The only problem was they were not offered everywhere and difficult to find.

Rhonda began getting painful open sores in her mouth which reduced what she was able to eat and drink even more. Over the 3 weeks since her chemo she has needed to have IV fluids administered at the hospital to keep her from dehydrating. Her mother would tell her "time for a sip" every 10 min to encourage small amounts of fluid intake and help avoid the nausea that came with larger drinks.

Once Rhonda began to feel better her mother felt it would be safe to go home and manage her own home for a week before returning for Rhonda's chemo #2. About 30 minutes after her mother left Rhonda felt faint and collapsed a door that was of its hinges in the hallway fell on her and hit her in the head. Unable to reach her mother she enlisted the assistance of her former in-laws to drive her to the hospital for a check up.

After her mother had left with the belief that Rhonda was doing alright and could be on her own for a week, Rhonda began feeling very alone. She had reconciled with her boyfriend but he was away for work, her ex-husband was out of town for work as well and his truck broke down. Rhonda found herself alone with her two children and feeling very vulnerable. This was easily becoming the hardest part for her to date.

Rhonda was going about her normal daily routines and ran her hand through her very thick hair; she pulled her hand away to see she had also pulled away a handful of hair. Her fear of losing her hair was coming true and she was alone. Looking for a comforting voice she called me and I must admit I failed her.

I have been losing my hair since I was 16 and find it difficult to cover the many bald spots I have. I really understand what Rhonda was feeling, but I found it difficult to sympathize with her. What I said to her maybe seen as harsh and uncaring, but I stand by the fact that I was honest although I could have been a better sister to her and helped her though this hard time better. I said "yes your hair is falling out; you will need to wear a wig. I understand you have also lost a breast and feel that you are losing yourself. BUT this is only temporary and once your treatment is finished your hair will grow back, and you can get a new breast. This is all necessary to survive and is only for a short period of time. I will never get my hair back, I understand how hard it is for you, but it will grow back!"

What I said seemed to help her calm down, but now I wonder if it just closed her off from confiding in me. Rhonda is dealing with a lot and I could have been more understanding. For that I am truly sorry. Over the next few days Rhonda's hair continued to fall out, as she would brush her hair she would have to clean the brush of all the hair that came out. She will soon shave her head and has plans to find a wig to help her through this. I also provided her with my 2 wigs so she could have a choice of hair color and style and try to have fun with it.

Tomorrow Rhonda goes for chemo #2 and we wait to see what side effects will affect her this time. Her children will be excused early form school on June 11 so they can go and stay with Rhonda's mother for more continuous care and support. This too was not easy for Rhonda as the school informed her that her daughter has grade 3 provincial exams and they can only excuse the child for vacation not for medical. This is a statement that proves how priorities are so confused within our society.

I made a few calls on behalf of Rhonda and received permission for her daughter to miss the exam from the head of provincial testing. I was given exact articles to direct the school principle to and also encouraged Rhonda to call the school board. She later received 3 calls from the school granting an exemption for her daughter's exam.

We will follow Rhonda through her next treatment and her move back to her parents for the remainder of summer. We can only hope that the worst is finally over and that those of us Rhonda depends on are better suited to support her through the tough times.