One Year Out of the Army

This month, October, marks the one year anniversary of my husbands separation from the United States Army.

It has been a rough year, to say the least. I would have to say the biggest adjustment has been my husband and I getting used to being around each other all the time. During our marriage of almost nine years and equal time in the Army, we have been separated for nearly half of it. Yes, there have been days I thought we would kill each other.

Here are a few lessons I have learned about the differences between military and civilian lifestyles.

One of the first things I have learned is to never underestimate the healthcare and umbrella of security the military provides. The Army takes care of you. You don't have to worry about where you're going to live, your electricity getting shut off, or how you're going to pay your medical bills. These issues are daily worries for many people across the nation.

Another lesson I have learned, is never to underestimate your military family. The family you adopt through the military is something you need to survive. Even with the help and support as my friends and family have given me throughout our service and deployments, sometimes you need someone who actually knows what you have been through.

Because hubby is National Guard now, I still depend on my Army family for support and understanding.

The third lesson I have learned is that finding a job as a civilian is not easy! With employment down as well as wages, it was hard to find a job. Eight years of service as a medic and my husband had a hard time finding a job! Can you believe that, and it wasn't for lack of trying either. Then the next thing you have to worry about is layoffs. It is a scary thing not knowing if your husband will have work for the winter.

On a good note, here is a good lesson I have learned. Kids do better with both parents around. I have basically been a single mom, who is married, for many years. Now that my husband is home more, my children tend to behave better and they absolutely love having their dad around more often.

The baby, who will be one year old in about a week, is more attached to daddy than any of the other kids. Hubby has got to see milestones he didn't get to see with the others. Like walking and starting to speak real words. For my husband, those are very big things which he missed because of deployments or training.

The biggest lesson here is that I have learned that being together and being happy is more important than anything. In the military, you learn that separation is a way of life. Yes, we still have to worry about deployment with the National Guard, however, not as much as in the regular Army.

As a side note, these are my thoughts on one year being out of the Army. My husband on the other hand, has been through a lot more and has many different views than I do. It has been a very different adjustment for him and I am not at liberty to speak for him.