One Young Man's Experience with Abortion

Morally I think that abortion is wrong. Spiritually I think that abortion is wrong. Then I think of crack-addicts and others who are in situations where the babies may be more horribly abused and neglected if they come into the world than if their precious little lives would be terminated early.

How about young women or girls with no money who may be overburdened or homeless that find themselves pregnant? Maybe a wife who is being battered and raped by a monster husband who knows that if she divorces him he will have access to their baby? As I have gotten older I am less dogmatic than I was when I was younger. I still hate abortion but thank God I don't have to walk in those shoes anymore. I do know though that it is a stain that you will have to live with forever no matter what you do.

I am basically pro-life. I am morally against abortion. I think that when one chooses to have an abortion that it will be with them their whole life. I teeter on the edge. I had a friend who had a severely deformed baby that was poisoning her in utero. I don't know the medical reasons but it was harming her and her doctor recommended that she have a therapeutic abortion. By the time that they had this information it was too late to do an abortion. that was over 20 years ago.( I don't know if that would stop doctors now.)

She and her husband agonized over their baby whom they couldn't even determine the sex of. They watched him (they thought of him as a boy and named him as such) slowly die. Not only were they devastated by his death and dying but so were their other children.

He died a couple of weeks after he was born. That changed my mind about there being a time and a place for abortion, then only in the very early stages. I would never judge someone for having an abortion, especially after going through that with my friends. It was hell on earth for them.

I was forced into an illegal abortion when I was 17. Those of you who have read some of my writings already know about that. I still have scars today. Every July 4th, every September 4th and every April I am reminded of the horror of that experience. It has drastically effected my, many consider narrow-minded opinions on abortion. This being said I would tell you about the experience of a young man who I am really close to and how he experienced abortion. He will remain anonymous out of respect to him and his ex-wife.

It is usually women and girls whose experiences with abortion that you hear about. Sadly we don't often hear about the effects that it has on the fathers of aborted babies. When I saw Josh (fictitious name) I asked him how many children he had. He told me that he had one. Then he told me with great anger and sadness that he would have had two children if the first one hadn't been aborted.

Josh told me that he was scared when his girlfriend got pregnant and wanted to get advice from his grandparents on what to do. He was about 17 when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. He had very little relationship with his parents so he asked his grandparents for help. His grandfather handed him money and told him that they should go get an abortion. He didn't know if that was what they really wanted to do so he consulted his Aunt who told him just to go get it done. It wasn't that big of a deal. She had one before and there was nothing to it. His girlfriend was unable to make a clear decision.

He took her to get an abortion where there were protestors mobbing the clinic. He went with her and the abortion was performed. He said that he could never forgive himself for putting her through the abortion. In less than a year she was pregnant again. She was trying to replace her lost baby. She had a son and it wasn't long after he was born that she and Josh broke up. That experience was over 20 years ago and he is still mourning the loss.

I feel such sadness for him and for his ex-wife. I also feel sadness for that little lost baby. Maybe if he had had a supportive family or a responsible adult they wouldn't have had the abortion. Maybe they would have matured over the experience. Maybe they would have given it up for adoption. I don't know. I do know that he was as damaged over the decision as many women that I know have been.

Abortion doesn't only hurt women and unborn babies; it also hurts many of the fathers of them too.