Online Dating Addiction: What Are the Signs?

Dating sites continue to attract internet romancers for the chance at finding love, and love they are finding. According to Online Dating Magazine, as of 2007, more than 120,000 marriages a year take place arising out of online dating. But is there a price, figuratively speaking, for some internet romancers? You bet. It's called an online dating addiction.

Diane M. Wieland, PhD, a psychiatric nurse and professor at LaSalle University, advises all forms of internet addiction share the following four elements - excessive use, withdrawal, tolerance, and negative repercussions. The following signs of an online dating addiction appear to fit within these elements.

Excessive Use

It's an inability to stop logging into a dating site for the hopeful possibility of new emails or the fanciful thought that someone has replied to your email sent only an hour ago. You may be logging in multiple times during the day, sometimes hours at a time. It's about walking into the room where your laptop sits, and it's difficult to resist signing in. It's coming home from school or work and what's the first thing you do when you walk through the door? It's not heading to the refrigerator or the bathroom; it's a pit stop at your computer. Excessive use takes on a life of its own during an online dating addiction.

Withdrawal

It's a feeling of restlessness when away on vacation or on business; that inability to have access to the internet. Are you dating someone new? You could be genuinely interested in that person, and the dating prospects are real. However, a part of you misses the feeling of surfing profiles and the rush of contacting strangers. This is a classic withdrawal symptom of an online dating addiction.

Tolerance

The continual use of dating sites will lead to tolerance. It may start out with using one dating site, and then others are joined, all at the consequence of incurring more online fees. The time spent with dating sites will steadily increase, almost unnoticed. As the online dating addiction grows, losing track of time while surfing profiles and contacting other members becomes inevitable, sometimes at the expense of losing sleep.

Negative Repercussions

Unhealthy or negative consequences seem to thrive as a result of an online dating addiction. An awkward argument surfaces with a family member or friend. Lying about how much you're using dating sites or just how many people you've actually met unfolds. It may lead to times of social isolation where you'd rather skip a social gathering and stay home and log in.

What to Do

A comprehensive and thorough article about the nature of an internet addiction disorder (IAD) can be found in Internet Addiction, by John Grohol, Psy.D. A self-test can be taken at the following link, netaddiction.com, to help see where you stand with IAD or an online dating addiction (which is kind of comical because the test is taken online!). Interestingly, Dr. Grohol chastises the validity of taking an internet addiction test in More Spin on Internet Addiction Disorder, as he concludes such a test is "not a valid psychometric instrument." Rather, he opines a "professional will be able to help you learn to slowly curve the time spent online, and address the problems or concerns in your life that may have contributed to your online overuse, or were caused by it."