Online Dating: Mistakes for Men to Avoid During the First Conversation

If things progress with a woman while exchanging messages back and forth on a dating website, you may find yourself having a conversation with her on the phone or through instant messenger. From the information you ask for to the photos you exchange, avoiding making certain mistakes can help you to continue to get to know her better.

Being Sexual

For many women, a man talking to her in a sexual way, especially a man she doesn't know very well, can be a big turnoff to the point that she may cut off contact with him altogether. Avoid making any sexual comments and innuendos, even jokingly, especially during the first several conversations. If you continue talking to her, you'll pick up on signs if that type of talk or those type of jokes are acceptable.

Prying for Information

When a woman has a conversation with a man she barely knows, she will likely be as private as possible without seeming too closed off. Not only is it a matter of privacy, but of safety as well. Skip asking private questions, such as about family history or past boyfriends, unless she brings them up to you first. Even then, let her do most of the talking and don't pry for information. Let her tell you the information she feels comfortable with.

Sending / Asking for Revealing Photos

This is typically not the best way to get in the good graces of a woman you just started conversing with. Whether you ask for revealing pictures of her or send some of yourself, chances are you're going to come off as a pervert. There are men that also try to do it the underhanded way by saying "Hey I have a tattoo/piercing do you want to see it?" and then sending over a revealing photo with the excuse that she said she wanted to see the picture. Here's a good rule to follow- If you wouldn't show the photo to your mother, don't show it to the woman.

Being Boring

If you've been exchanging messages with a woman and she decides to converse with you either by phone or instant messenger, chances are she found something exciting enough about you to spur her decision. Have good banter with her, tell her interesting tidbits of information about yourself and ask her questions about her hobbies. Avoid one word answers and, if on the phone, talking in a monotone voice and sounding disinterested.

Skipping the Manners

Whether you're conversing online or on the phone, make sure to keep your manners in check. For example, if you need to step away while you're on the phone or computer, tell her you'll be right back. Don't eat, text, talk to other people or play music while you're on the phone with her. Stay focused to her while you're talking to her and if you can't, then consider asking if you can talk to her another time.

Revealing Too Much

There's a difference between sharing and over-sharing. Even if you feel the urge to open up to her and tell her everything, consider keeping some things private, such as anything she may perceive in a negative way. Although you want her to know the real you, give her a chance to know how great you really are before throwing anything at her that could potentially be perceived as negative.

When it comes to your first conversation with a woman off the dating website, consider staying on pleasant topics such as hobbies and work. You likely haven't known her for long, so be conscious of that and think carefully before you speak to avoid accidentally offending her. Slowly but surely, she will get to learn more about who you are.