Online Dating: Not Just for Freaks and Axe Murderers

I introduced myself to online dating just after grad school. After two years of studying and practicing with no time left for a social life I was eager to get out there and find "Mr. Right." I decided to go cyber because nearly all of my friends ended up getting married while I was hermiting in my studies and there were no friends left to herd around with.

Approaching the concept with a wary mind and not completely sure what I was looking to accomplish, I created a profile on three dating sites.

When I revealed to friends and family that I was into online dating I typically got three responses. Response A: "What? Aren't there all kinds of freaks and axe murderers online?" Response B: "Hey, So-and-so met someone online and now they're married." Response C: "What's it like?"

Yes, there are freaks and axe murderers online just like there are freaks and axe murderers walking the street. You just have to be careful how you communicate with your matches. Don't reveal your full name or physical address until you have built a relationship to know them enough to trust them (this may take time). Beware that it is extremely easy to lie and misrepresent yourself.

People are meeting online and finding wonderful lasting relationships. Internet dating allows you to weed through prospect by asking a few questions. Realize that picky daters have the same problems they do in the normal dating world. Likewise, those who date frequently will reflect that style online.

What is internet dating like? Let me share some of my experiences. My first date with a match happened on my birthday (though I didn't tell him that). I had doubts about him when I shared a funny story via email about my jury duty experience the week he had jury duty. He didn't respond. I scratched my head and thought that I'd still give him a chance. I'm a very picky dater (too picky according to some) and was trying to broaden my horizons. We met at a nice Italian restaurant and he proceeded to list for me all of his accomplishments. This was not in the way of, "Oh, I did such-and-such and here's an interesting story about it." Instead he listed them as if the rest of the universe were idiots and only he was capable of intelligent thought. There was no second date and I managed to email him a "not interested anymore" note.

My other experiences have been varied. One had a personality that would rival that of a dead fish. One wanted to discuss theology all evening. One scared me by asking my opinion of women's hosiery. One made the date feel like a job interview. One had no clue about personal grooming. Those are just a few of the disappointing first dates. I've had many that went well and ended in repeat dates and new friends.

I haven't yet found "Mr. Right." I'm picky, but I know he's out there. Ah, there's another email from a new match, maybe it's him.