Online Dating: Posting a Picture or Ending Online Relationships

So, you've decided to take the plunge and try your hand at online dating. This is a fairly brave choice, for even though online dating has become more acceptable over time, there is still a stigma attached to it. I know the stigma all too well, having met my wonderful boyfriend via the internet. As many times as I tell myself that it's totally normal and popular, I still have to swallow back a lump in my throat when others ask how we met.

Having spent several years, on and off, wading my way through the perils of online dating, there is one rule which I never allowed to be broken: I would never agree to meet up with someone if they did not have a picture posted.

In this day and age, there is no viable excuse as to why a reasonably intelligent person who is serious about online dating would not be able to perform the simple task of uploading a picture of themselves on a website. There are, however, many reasons why they would not.

Our culture is full of stories about men and women who found out their spouses were cheating on them via the internet...about children who have been solicited by adults who pretended to be sympathetic teens...about people who have been tricked into thinking the person they're pouring their heart out to is the total opposite of who they really are..on and on and on.

In the case of someone who has not posted their picture, the reasons can range anywhere from extreme discomfort with their physical appearance to posing as someone they're not in order to fulfill some sort of fantasy. No matter what the reason, you don't need such complications in your life. Avoiding contact with these people keeps you safer and helps avoid any uncomfortable situations should you choose to meet...and this person is not at all who you envisioned.

Online dating is tricky enough without putting yourself at risk for heartbreak or danger. If a person hasn't posted a picture of his or herself, there is a reason why. And it's more than likely not a nice reason. So spare yourself. There are plenty of genuine, nice people out there. Spend your time on them instead!

In many ways, ending an online romance is much simpler than ending a face-to-face romance...IF the relationship was kept strictly to the computer and no phone numbers or addresses were given out.

A simple, well-worded email could do the trick in this situation. Be sincere. Don't make up stories about a dying relative or a sudden move. Don't insult their intelligence or degrade yourself.

Let the person down gently, just as you would in a face-to-face relationship. Don't use the excuse that you'll never see them again just to be cruel or thoughtless. Be careful not to fall into the oh-so-easy trap of abruptly ending all contact without explanation, either. Just because you don't have to see the look on the other person's face is no reason to disregard their feelings.

When all is said and done, wish them well. And that's it. No more emails, IM's, nothing. Just like in any other relationship. If they can't seem to take the hint, you always have the luxury of deleting their emails or even blocking their address.

In online relationships, it is always best to take it slow and to share personal information once trust has been built and there is potential of the relationship moving forward. This way, should things end badly, you aren't left with the fear of your ex's reaction. And it is much simpler to sever ties and move on!