It doesn't seem like it would be hard to be courteous to others online, but I've often seen people tear each other apart for the smallest infraction. Instead of stepping back and realizing that it's not as easy to judge what another person means online as it is in person, they just automatically go on the defensive. Many of these encounters could have been avoided if clarification had only been asked for.
My Mother always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." If everyone would live by this rule going online would be a lot more pleasant. Everyone doesn't have to agree all the time, but there are ways to express your displeasure without belittling and demeaning another person.
People need to think before typing responses to others and ask themselves a few questions. Did I understand what they said correctly? Could it mean something else entirely? Do they have a point even if I don't agree with it? After you've asked yourself these questions and taken time to think over what was said, then you can reply more appropriately. It's the old rule of counting to 10 before acting. Taking a few extra moments to re-read something will go a long way.
Debate is wonderful if people can debate a topic without bringing each other into it. When you cross the line and bring personal attacks it's no longer a debate, but an argument. I don't understand why people want to argue with someone over the computer. Too much is lost in the communication process for it to even be an effective argument. Stick to the facts of what you're debating and leave the person out of it.
I believe you need to have thick skin if you are going to participate in chat rooms or discussion groups online. Expect people to say anything. Don't take offense easily and you will be fine. I find the best thing is to just ignore people who are belligerent or down right mean. If you don't feed the trolls they will go away.
If everyone would follow the golden rule the Internet and online experiences would be so much better. It's not hard to get along with people if you really do treat them as you'd like to be treated yourself.
Published by Angel Sharum
Angel Sharum is a freelance writer of both fiction and non-fiction. She writes articles on a number of topics ranging from self-help to hiking and has numerous works of fiction published in print anthologies... View profile
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- "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
- Taking a few extra moments to re-read something will go a long way.
- If you don't feed the trolls they will go away.



10 Comments
Post a CommentI still feel shocked whenever I see inflammatory comments from one person to another online. And when I get those instant messages with sexual inuendo, I just get so annoyed. I guess some people simply "lose" their manners whenever face to face contact is absent. Thanks for a good article.
My thoughts exactly! I will not read the rude rants!
It seems that many times what drives the trolls is the need to take someone else down a notch because they (the trolls) are jealous of that person's success, or just to make themselves feel better about themselves. The best solution, as you said, is to ignore them as much as possible, and if they go too far, remind them that libel, slander and defamation laws can be enforced on internet speech too.
Great article. These trolls remind me of the "telephone tough guys" we used to deal with at the furniture gallery, talkin' all mean when the safety of distance is protecting them. Oh, they sweeten up REAL quick when face-to-face with a couple of 200+ pound delivery guys! Truth is, these weenies have no balls in real life, and it makes them feel real tough saying such vile things online they'd never have the guts to say to a man face-to-face!
Hahaha internet tough guys are everywhere! I am an administrator on a gaming site, and we get some doozies!
You are so right Charolette. And it's really not that hard to talk about anything if you are respectful. I disagree with people quite often, but because we are all respectful of each other, it doesn't get out of hand.
I love this. It sometimes amazes me the lengths to which people will go to hurt another human being simply because they don't agree with them about something (usually politics or religion). Freedom of speach these days only seems to go one way. If you express anything other than that accepted line of thought, you open yourself up to being berated, called names, and even threatened. That's just not right in any world, let alone in a country that is supposed protect our freedoms.
Very true. I don't waste my time with people who are just looking for trouble online. I meet some of those in forums and I just leave them alone.
No use wasting our time with nonsense.
Great article that makes alot of sense. Thanks for sharing! :-)
Yeah, some people act totally different online than in real life. It's like they just don't care anymore.