Online Real Vampire Community Treats Newcomers with Disrespect - Vampires 101

Online Real Vampire communities are supposed to be a place for those seeking knowledge to come for information, understanding and a sense of family. When long-time members treat newcomers with disrespect, can it have a negative effect?

I have been a part of the online real vampire community in one form or another since 1996. I was there back in the days of email groups and Mirc chats up through the current forums and live chats. Granted, life has taken me away from the community from time to time. It's that time away that has brought this serious issue back into my mind.

I joined an online real vampire forum group many years back (which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent), and for quite some time I was very active. I was well known and fairly respected. Due to conflicts with another member who I also knew in real life and other personal issues, I left the community and was gone for the better part of two years. When I decided it was time to come back to my "family" I found that I had been purged for inactivity. Not really a big deal, it's something that can happen on any forum. So I signed up again using my old name that everyone knew, and jumped back in.

At first things seemed to be going well. A few of the old-timers welcomed me back, and people I'd never met before did the same. I started talking, reading and posting, and all seemed fine until I went into the live chat. The first time in chat was good, I reconnected with some people and had a good time. The second time in chat caused me to take a week off to cool down so I didn't lash into anyone.

I was having a conversation with a user I knew, and I was asking if they could help me find some information I was after. They were about to point me in the right direction when someone piped in with a comment of "d*mn newbies, expect everything handed to them on a silver platter." Other disparaging newcomer remarks were also made, as if I weren't right there reading them. I never got the information I asked for, and I ended up off in a private chat with someone so I wouldn't lay into that rude user.

Now, granted, part of my anger lies in the fact that I am in no way a noob to the real vampire community, or even that forum. Several people have pointed out that I'm returning after a purge. So I was insulted to receive the disrespect even though my long standing in the community had been vouched for. What made me more angry however, was the fact that old-timers would treat someone they perceived to be new in the vampire community with such disrespect.

If I were a new member, treating me that way could have caused me to have any number of reactions. Some newcomers would have ignored the rude party and continued on, some would have left the community and gone elsewhere for information, some may have left and never found what they needed to know, and for others it may have been the last straw and caused them to commit suicide. I know that sounds extreme, but it could very well happen, and probably has.

Someone, especially a younger person, coming into a real vampire community looking for information and guidance is already in fragile state. They are wondering who and what they are, feeling lonely and misunderstood, and searching for people who will understand them. Being treated disrespectfully and with such disregard could easily drive someone over the edge. If people in a vampire subculture that is supposed to embrace the strange outcasts can't even understand or respect them, who ever could?

I've never really understood this mentality of long-time members treating newcomers like dirt. Now, not all of the old-timers do this, some are gentle and kind and treat people properly. But the bad apples tend to make a big impression. Perhaps they don't think of their actions as out of line, but they certainly are, and they do not paint a good picture of the real vampire community as a whole. I suggest that these people think of their behavior as it would relate in real life.

For one thing, asking a more established member of the community for help is showing respect, and admitting that you are bowing to their greater knowledge. Newcomers are like students, and the older members like teachers. When a student asks their teacher a question, it is appropriate to either give the answer or point them in the right direction, not to insult them for not having gone out and found the answer for themselves already.

You can also think of it this way: If you adopted a child and they asked where the cereal was kept, would you tell them where it was, and acquaint them with other items in their new home, or would you tell them to buzz of and find it for themselves? If a new neighbor came to your door and asked where the post office or a good restaurant was located, would you share your knowledge of the area, or tell them to get lost and use Google or the phone book? Most of us would never be this rude and make such a bad impression on new people.

It's also similar to going to a shopping center or library. Do you spend countless hours wandering the aisles trying to find what you need, or do you lean on the expertise of the staff and ask them to direct you to the right place? The mentality of telling new community members to stop asking questions and find their own answers, especially in a forum with more information than you could wade through in a year, is insane and insensitive. I have always been more than happy to point a newcomer in the right direction. I will even answer a question that's been asked many times before. It's just the right thing to do.

I intent to ask the members of this real vampire community to read this article. Hopefully it will open their eyes to the way they treat new members, and cause them to act in a more friendly and helpful manner. The older and presumably wiser members of the community should lead by example and always show respect and understanding in the community, to all members both old and new. You are teachers and leaders, perhaps you should act as such.