Oops, I Split My Pants

I was going on a date,
And I took a chance.
I put on real tight leather pants.

I looked really hot.
I felt really cool.
Man, I looked sharp.
I'll make women drool.

So I picked up sweet Emily.
It was half past nine.
And boy did she ever
Look real fine.

But as we sat down
At this swank restaurant to eat,
A terrible thing happened
As I sat in my seat.

My pants opened up.
It was like the parting of the sea.
And now my underpants were showing,
Just wanting to be free.

My date was embarrassed.
She walked out on me.
My split in my pants
Was terrible to see.

I left the restaurant
And went home alone.
My date never answered
Her telephone.

I guess that I really blew my chance.
It was the end of a very brief romance.
Emily and I never had that big dance
Because I had a huge split in my pants.