Open Relationships: How to Make Them Work

Perhaps it is because of personal taste and lifestyle. Perhaps it is because there is simply not that special someone in your life right now. Whatever the reason, should you choose to be part of an open relationship, there are rules that should be followed. These rules of open relationships vary, however, from one couple to another. Rules of an open relationship are personal and must be consistently considered to see if there should be any changes made. Here I set out some examples of rules for open relationships in order to help you get started. First of all, though, let's consider what exactly is an open relationship?

What is an Open Relationship?

Succinctly, an open relationship between two adults is one in which there is no monogamy by mutual consent. Each adult is free to pursue other relationships, whether of emotional or sexual natures.

Are People in Open Relationships Freaks?

No, people in open relationships are not freaks. By some considerations, they could be considered the healthiest among us. They do not allow themselves to be caged by societal rules of monogamy with which they disagree, nor do they choose a cowardly path of secret affairs. People in open relationships care about those with whom they are sexually and emotionally active. If people in open relationships did not care about those with whom they were involved, they would not bother to specify the term open relationship, but would carry on with others freely and without concern for their feelings.

People in open relationships demonstrate respect for those with whom they are emotionally and sexually involved by setting up boundaries and rules. Lies are unnecessary in open relationships, as the premise is that there are others with whom the individual might be involved.

What are the Rules in Open Relationships?

There is no set of rules for any particular open relationship. Each open relationship is individual, requiring its own specific boundaries. The key for people in open relationships to develop positive rules that will keep their open relationships healthy, rather than destroy them, is communication. Communication is, of course, a number one factor in any relationship, not only open relationships.

Another rule for maintaining a positive and healthy open relationship is to be honest. Ask and answer questions between each other without accusation or threats. If something is not working in the open relationship for the another partner, seek a way to work it out. Again, this is true for monogamous relationships, as well.

Thirdly, people in open relationships must let those they are emotionally and sexually involved with know of the esteem in which they are held. One should never treat another casually when emotions and sex are involved over the long term. Funny, that would also apply to the standard monogamous relationship, wouldn't it?

Another rule to consider for an open relationship is to maintain flexibility with the relationship. If there need to be changes made and you value the relationship, then adjust the rules of your open relationship in order to make for a healthier open relationship, but do so without going back on your own truths and needs. Also, always honor the truths and needs of the other. Sometimes you will not be able to make an open relationship work, just as sometimes monogamous relationships do not work.

Finally, keep your word. If you have promised an evening or event to one, do not back out on that plan for another lover, just as you would not back out for any other reason. Always show consideration, respect and care. Again, that would be just as is necessary in a societally favored monogamous relationship.

Open relationships can be happy or destructive, just as any other type of relationship might be. To make an open relationship work, be upfront and loving.

Sources:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/05/29/violetblue.DTL
http://www.love-lectures.com/articles/open_relationship.html