Organic: The Bastard Child of Going Green

The Green crowd tells me I need to buy organic foods. The problem is there are 407 definitions of "organic" and even the official USDA guidelines have layer after layer of gov-speak loopholes. If you want special labeling privileges, you can petition the USDA for an exception. It's obvious we can't trust the label.

The label is what started my brain down this path. As with all things food related, it started at my local Publix grocery store. Publix started this Greenwise^® product line and I get eternal laughter over some of the labels. Specifically, it was the "Greenwise Organic Lemonade" that started all this because the ingredients start with "Water. Lemon juice from concentrate..." Stop. Rewind right there. How the hell is lemon juice from concentrate organic? Continue. "...pasteurized..." Stop. I'm a big fan of public health protection and Mr. Pasteur is at the top of my hero list, but how is a pasteurized product organic? I'm not the only one lost here. When I relayed this to my eldest daughter, she laughed for a good 20 seconds, too.

So we can't trust the label. We can't trust the sign on the local veggie stand either. There have always been local farmer's markets. Whether these folks really are organic farmers is immaterial. They are local and therefore save tons of energy by not shipping their produce around the globe. That's Green. Most have simply slapped up signs that read "Organic," but nothing has really changed. Farmer's markets are great new discovery for the Green crowd. Here in the South, we've known about them for decades. We've been green all along, but it's always nice to have someone from California's leftist coast confirm our choices.

Labels are out. Hand-painted signs are no good. How the heck am I supposed to know if I'm saving the planet and my health? You probably have your own definition of organic and green. Here's mine:

Is it in a grocery store?
Then it's not very Green. It took hundreds of gallons of fuel to get it here. It might be organic on some level, but Green it ain't. This is simply the world we live in. Sorry, Green crowd, but Green distribution still eludes us. There is a reason seafood is cheap in Mobile and expensive in St. Paul, but people in Minnesota still like shrimp.

Does it contain preservative?
Then it's not organic. Unfortunately, this means you better get it locally and use it quickly. Preservatives are not really natural. Preservatives are not organic. Preservatives do ensure safety. Like every thing in life, it's a trade-off you must assess for yourself. There is a very good reason for expiration dates on products. Pay attention.

Bugs are not organic.
I've heard people get excited when they find a bug in the sprouts at the organic salad bar. They take it as proof that the fixin's are organic. Guess what. The restaurant may not be organic. They may have just failed their health inspection. Bugs are only organic in the field. Bugs are not organic on the table.

Organic is common sense
We try to codify our lives too much. So what if I like Pez? They're not organic and me enjoying them does not make me a bad person. I like to keep a fairly balanced diet. I try to keep it as fresh as possible, but I'm not going to put myself in danger to do it. Sinclair Lewis notwithstanding, I'm still a big fan of Louis Pasteur.