Our Children, Give Them Our Money or Our Time?

As a single working mother, I am faced with difficult challenges every day in raising my son alone. One of the biggest debates I have with myself is how much to work. As they say, there are two sides to every story and pros and cons for each.

I could go to work every day, work 40+ hours a week, advance in my chosen profession, make lots of money and use it all to pay for daycare and babysitters to raise my son for me. His college education would be set, he could have all the nice things he wants in life. We could live in a nice house and drive a nice car. We could spend a quality week or two every summer on a nice vacation and have those precious bonding moments in between the roller-coasters and the beaches.

Alternatively, I can spend as much time as possible with my son during his formidable years. Instead of concentrating on a career, I could work odd jobs, do what I need to do to get by, and be home more often. I wouldn't have all the nice things in life, but I would have time to raise my own child. Instead of fancy vacations once a year, we could have every night to eat dinner together, and play a game, or go outside and just look at the stars. I would get to know his friends, and help with his homework; go on field trips and make cookies for the bake sale.

I personally have tried both routes at different times. When my son was young, I worked part time as a waitress. I was able to make enough to support us with working only 20-30 hours a week. I was lucky in that different friends and family members would take turns watching him so I rarely had to pay a babysitter. Right before my son turned three, we made a move to a different town. I was looking ahead to school years and the education system is much better here. The down side was that I lost much of my support system. I enrolled my son in daycare and got a full time job. I was working 50 hours per week plus drive time and felt like I never saw him. When I did have a day off, I was exhausted and had to catch up on shopping and housework. It was nice when my year was up and I was able to take a nice vacation with my son. It was on vacation that I realized how much I missed being with him everyday. When we came back from our trip, I got a job waitressing and gave my two weeks notice. The pay cut was huge, but the time I was missing was irreplaceable.

I have now dedicated myself to the pursuits of working from home. I work as a customer service representative and as an office manager for a new company. I am able to do both of these from the comfort of home, and spend the entire day with my son. I have put much time and effort into deciding on the best solution for both my son and myself.

Trying to find a balance can often times be difficult and each person needs to weigh the consequences of their decision for themselves. Find what is most important to you, and follow it. Don't worry about what other people think of your decision. At the same time, please remember that we all have different goals and dreams from life and yours probably aren't the same as the person next to you. Don't judge anyone for the choices they make in raising their children, so long as they have that child's best interests at heart.