Our Family Tradition: the Twelve Days of Christmas

Our family tradition gets right to the meaning of what Christmas is supposed to be about...Giving. Over the years, we have tried to make a needy family in our local area smile a bit during the Christmas season. This tradition has taught our children (all 15 of them) about the joy of giving and doing for others and not having to claim the 'glory' associated with giving a gift. We feel this tradition has also taught our children about the real meaning of giving--charity. True charity does begin at home, at least learning about what that really is.

Every Christmas we choose a local needy family, who is probably not going to have a really great Christmas that year without something special from someone else. We have known the needy family some years, and some years it has been a family whos name and address we got from the church or another method. We involve our children in this process. We do what we call "The Twelve Days of Christmas" on the needy family. Every day, from the 13th day before Christmas, until Christmas Eve, We leave a gift which corresponds to the day of Christmas it is on the family's doorstep and knock and run. Leaving the gifts on the doorstep for the family. We NEVER tell the family that we are doing this.

About 4 weeks before Christmas, many times on Thanksgiving, after dinner, we have a family meeting, in which we decide if anyone knows of a needy family. We figure out which family needs help the most. (We may have gone and asked our church or any local church, if they know of a needy family, if we cannot come up with a family on our own.) We then determine who can do what for which days, or what we are going to do for each day of the twelve days. The children help us to come up with the list of items and who is going to help with which day's gifts. We then go over the rules again, for the children, such as NO ONE is to tell anyone it is us who is doing this. In the event that one of the children knows the children in the needy family, they do not tell anyone. That every single night MUST be taken care of, and who is going to go with the older chid who will deliver the gift, and they take turns. How long the children and our family has to make each gift so it is ready to go to the family on the appropriate day. We make up a 'calendar' of sorts and put what is for which day and when the gift must be purchased or completed by.

For examples of the gifts, many of the items are homemade. On the first day, we have left a gingerbread house made by our family for the family, or we have left a Christmas Tree (because we knew the family would not have one, if we did not). On the second day, we have left Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls which I made, or a set of hand made doilies or sachets crocheted by me, for one family, we gave an expectant mother a set of baby booties, but there are always two of the gift. For the third day we have given three homemade jars of jam, or three loaves of banana bread or pumpkin bread, etc. These gifts are delivered at a different time each evening after dark, so as not to get caught, and each night the family has a neat little gift to make their holiday a bit better. If we find something the family needs, like a Christmas tree, we try to accommodate that need, and then for the 12th day, we may give them 12 ornaments for the tree.

With each gift is a little card which reads something similar to: (Outside) On the first day of Christmas, a true friend gave to us... One Christmas Tree.(Inside) Since the cards are made on our computer and most of the gifts are homemade, this act of giving does not cost a lot of extra money, but makes a needy family happier during the Christmas season, and our children learn that charity comes from the heart, and recognition for the good deed is NOT what giving is about. And true giving comes from the heart.