Our Infatuation with Celebrity Gossip

So, what is the matter with us? We have, at our fingertips, access to the greatest minds of all time. The philosophers, the poets, the writers of great literature, the truly great leaders. the heroic. But instead of running a Google or Wikipedia search for the teachings of Socrates, Copernicus, Kant, Lincoln, no- we're much more inclined to wonder, "What's that little tramp Paris Hilton up to? I hope she rots in jail... what'd the judge say?"

Sad? Maybe. True? You bet. But just what exactly has led to our obsession with celebrity gossip? That's a real good question, and there isn't an answer that could ever really satisfy everybody all the time. Honest Abe was right. Maybe it is simply human nature, we are inquisitive creatures, and sometimes it is just way big fun to find out who is in rehab again rather than dealing with ozone depletion or mercury levels in drinking water. We love our trash mags, you know the ones that pay Ivy League grads big bucks to tell is who wore their dress the best on Oscar night. You can almost hear the "ffffffsssssss..." hissing of the deflating beach ball that is your brain. Forget the egg analogy, your brain in celebrity gossip is the real headshrinker here. So, repeat after me, "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" and away we go!

Society has always been fascinated by those "lucky" souls deemed important enough to have their every move followed and scrutinized- for whatever reason. The rich and famous are the usual targets, as they are in the public eye almost by default. Whether it was the peasants chirping about the latest mistress of the King, or the parasitic paparazzi wriggling around in the bushes of the movies stars, this need to know has existed for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Don't think so? The bath-houses of ancient Rome were an excellent source of fodder for the gossip mill of that day in time. Many a senator was involved in decadent, if not scandalous behavior there, or at least telling the generous women who they befriended defrocked- who was doing what and where in the kingdom. This isn't so different from Heidi Fleiss prostitution ring story from a few years back, is it?

Movie stars have long been the favorite meal for those folks chomping at the bit for some dirt. High profile Hollywood fiends do seem to provide an endless parade of problems that we just can't turn away from. Maybe because they're so good looking, rich, or famous- we might not actively wish bad things upon them, but we certainly like know what tripped them up when they stumble. Smirking is optional.

Today we an enamored with Lindsay Lohan's sobriety (or complete lack there of). Who's she doing lines with in the bathroom? Kate Moss? Who's she dating? Isn't he a junky? Does he think he's a real musician? Why was he playing bongos naked? Where did Robert Downey Jr. wake up today? He must've been high.

Things must be getting worse, huh? Not really. Judy Garland was a childhood star, and soon after- an iconic figure from The Wizard of Oz fame. But, sadly, she is often remembered for her embarrassing behavior later in life as she became addicted to pills and alcohol. And really, what did people want to talk about? Judy's acting or singing prowess, or her forgetting song lyrics on-stage and slurred ramblings of the lines she did remember? She died of a barbiturate overdose. Clearly, she wasn't in Kansas anymore.

Speaking of pills... remember Elvis during the later years? Strung out, fat, sweaty, parading around in that white circus outfit. His musical accomplishments go largely unnoticed by many who would rather know how many fried peanut butter sandwiches he ate, or just how many pills were in his system when he keeled over on the can. Mama Cass should get honorable mention here too for the false rumors of her being offed by a ham sandwich. People just love to skim the surface.

So, the point is that although we might sometimes think that things are much worse today than they were yesterday, our penchant for gossip has always been alive and well. How guilty you feel about it is up to you. Reading a trash mag while you're at the gym or doctor's office is one thing, but constantly fact checking on celebrities rather than learning about current events such as political elections or a war, well- that's another thing entirely.

And who knows, Socrates might have been right there with us skimming the pages of People or In Touch magazine had he been around today. Nietzsche might have been addicted to Nancy Grace or Bill O'Reilly or some other heart-string tugging "news" program. I'm not sure how much his aura would have suffered because of this, but picturing the great thinker (Nietzsche that is) in his bathrobe with a carton of Ben & Jerry's in his lap while glued to the ramblings of Sean Hannity is something that does tend to make me chuckle.