Our Native American Wedding

When my husband and I were planning our nuptials, I wanted something more memorable than the signature white wedding with the same boring itinerary.

We sat down and explored our combined heritages. His was deeply entrenched in Caddo, Kickapoo, Delaware and a smattering of German. Mine was Cherokee with European influence. We decided on Native American, but which one?

We are both native Oklahomans, so Cherokee and Caddo piqued our interests. The traditional wedding ceremonies are beautiful and complex. Since Cherokee Nation is a sovereign government, licensing for us and the officiant would be involved and confusing. We decided to mix it up to keep everything in legal order for the next generation. It became a semi-traditional ceremony.

The most labor intensive item was my wedding dress. My traditional Cherokee tear dress was salmon-colored taffeta with a white organza cover, white moccasins and clutch. His ribbon shirt matched my dress. My future mother-in-law graciously designed and hand-crafted our wedding attire. The bead work and jewelry were breathtaking.

.In the Cherokee society the bride is represented by her mother and oldest brother. As the future uncle, he stands with her to take responsibility for teaching the children in spiritual and religious matters, much like a godfather. The groom is accompanied by his mother. These relatives then become the attendants.

Fire is sacred to the Cherokees and the focal point of any ceremony. However, November in Oklahoma is a deterrent to an outdoor ceremony. Contemporary churches tend to frown on council fires in the rectory, so we opted for candles--lots of candles. In the actual ceremony the relatives wrap the bride and groom in blue blankets. These blankets represent our past lives of weakness, sorrow and failures. Traditionally the relatives would follow the couple to the sacred fire. The designated Holy Man would then bless the union and everyone present in an elaborate ceremony in native language. We kept everything in English, but we tweaked our vows.

Instead of rings we exchanged the traditional baskets of food representing our promises to provide for, nurture and support our household and each other. The relatives then symbolically removed our blue blankets and replaced them with the single white Cherokee Wedding Blanket signifying the beginning of our new life together.

We drank together from the Cherokee Wedding Vase. The vase holds the equivalent of one drink each with two identical stems long enough for the bride and groom to drink as one. Supposedly, as long as the couple does not spill one drop, they enjoy good luck for the rest of their lives. Many cultures outside of Native American embrace this good luck ritual as well.

Following the traditional ceremony the village, community or clan provided the wedding feast. We rented several large park pavilions surrounding a huge fire pit with several rotisseries. We had our fire, pig roast, plenty of great food, games, dancing and music.

My new spouse was trained formally since childhood as a Caddo Warrior Fancy Dancer. This style demands a rigid, complex choreographed symbiosis between dancer and drummer. Once a team is chosen, they never part. The intricate foot work, twists and turns are fascinating and exciting to watch. Excellent entertainment. Towards the end of the reception, everyone formed a circle around the fire for the traditional social dance, and so began a life-long friendship.

References: First person and my elder relatives and friends.