Our Weird and Wacky Dog

Many years ago my husband took on a job where he was away from home a lot. The night I heard someone turning the front door knob I decided that since I couldn't be everywhere at the same time, we needed something extra around with better hearing. Like a dog. Dogs have excellent hearing and will bark. I thought that by taking a dog I would solve a lot of problems. I was a bit wrong.

Of course I went to the local SPCA to look for a suitable canine friend. When I came upon a black outgrown spaniel type doggie I just knew it, this one was going to be mine. She tilted her head a bit and smiled at me. My heart melted and so we all went home.

"Well, this is going to be your home and I am going to be Mom" I said to Bob, giving her a bowl of food. After gobbling that up in 5 seconds flat, she decided to get a good feel of the place, and jumped on my expensive leather couch, scratching the dye off with her nails" Nooo!" I yelled, "Get off!" you naughty thing!" Little did I know that this was only the start of complete destruction of my house, and my sanity.

When we went shopping the next day, we thought it was alright to leave Bob inside. After all, she was sleeping peacefully and she was going to guard our stuff. Better to get her on the job right away. Or so I thought.

When we came home we couldn't believe it. Had a tornado struck while we were out? The curtains were full of holes and on the floor, the carpet was chewed on, and the cushion filling was everywhere, giving the place a Christmas- festive feeling if it were only December instead of July. In the kitchen only the shiny wrappings of my expensive Belgian chocolates were found. Even my herbs and spices were everywhere: the floor was covered in green oregano and red paprika, the white salt making up the colors of the Italian flag.

After a couple of weeks it was clear: this dog needed some training.

"No, no, no" shouted the dog-trainer over the gale that was blowing that day. We were a miserable lot. Not the dogs, they were having a good time. So many interesting new smells, so many new canine friends. But we dog-owners felt as we had landed in hell. Slashing rain, wind and about a hundred frisky dogs. And a dog-trainer who was oblivious to the weather conditions, and had his eyes trained on us humans, instead of the dogs. "I said turn right Picasso, not left!!"I looked around me. And yes, I misheard the instruction because of the wind. It went down hill from there.

"Look here" the dog-trainer started,"I don't believe there are bad dogs, only bad dog-owners". He looked at me accusingly. Apparently I was not seen fit to have a dog, in his eyes. I thought of my house in tethers and the cost to restore it back to something even approaching livable.

"If you really loved animals, this sort of behavior would not have happened" he barked. "But I do love her," I said "But she is a bit destructive". "I don't mean her behavior, I mean yours." he thundered. I hung my head and looked at Bob. She gave me a reassuring and loving look back. In silence I told her we would manage just fine without this nasty character. She nodded and understood.

And so the training of Picasso began, Bob's style. I managed to "sit" and "roll over". She took me for walks wherever she wanted and for how long she wanted. Sometimes without me, to do her own thing, like catching hedgehogs and chasing small rodents. She ate (read stole) what she wanted and left me some scraps. She climbed on the couch to have a good cuddle together.We had a lot of good times together. Bob guarded me and I guarded her, when she got blind.Her heart was filled with dog-love for me and of course I loved her back. She went to the dog-place in the sky when she was 14 years old, no doubt on a mission to train the Other Owner there. Ah, that Bob!