Overcome Nerves Before a Wedding Reception Speech

Being asked to fulfill the role of maid of honor or best man in a wedding is a big honor; it means that you are near and dear to the bride and groom and that they trust you to help them during the wedding planning process. But, along with the fun parts of the planning (helping the bride-to-be pick out her dress, putting together the bachelor/bachlorette parties, etc.) comes the one part that many people dread - the wedding reception speech. Public speaking is a big fear and causes severe nervousness for most people, but giving a wedding reception speech can be a very simple and fulfilling thing to do.

When preparing for any type of speech, there are typically two ways to do so: either write everything out and repeat it verbatim or completely wing-it. For a wedding reception speech, you should actually use both of those tactics together. First of all, you need to decide if you are going to direct your speech at the bride, groom, or both. Although you are the bride's maid of honor, chances are that you know the groom well, too (and, same goes for the best man.) A wedding is not just about your best friend; it is about both of the people getting married that day, so if at all possible, use both the bride and groom during your toast. It will mean a lot to both of them if you are able to incorporate them both in to your speech; your opinion means the world to them, or they would not have asked you to be such a special part of their wedding day. A best friend's approval and support means the world to any couple, so try to remember that when planning out some ideas for your speech.

Take some time and sit down before the day of the wedding to gather your thoughts; give yourself a long enough amount of time to sit, relax, and reflect about what the bride and/or groom (hopefully, both) means to you. You are obviously going to have more stories and significant memories for one of them, so jot down a funny story, a time that your friend was there through a difficult time with you, and a memory that you have of the couple. Typically, these three types of memories can be linked together in to a very kind and thoughtful wedding reception speech. Brainstorm how you want to tie those stories together; when I gave one of these speeches, I made a few funny jokes about the bride based on things we had done together and led those in to the fact that she was always there through the difficult times, too (gave an example of one of those difficult times.) I talked about how supportive she is, and let that led in to a short memory of them being there for each other as a couple since I had known them. I ended with that being why I know they are going to have a successful marriage. If you would like, add in your idea of marriage and relate it to how the couple fits that definition.

Then, once you have your ideas and memories jotted down, that's it. Forget about the nervousness that you may be feeling and enjoy being there with your best friend(s) during a significant step in life. Do not write out your whole speech or it will come off as unemotional and very stark when you give it during the wedding reception. Also, make sure you keep your list of ideas somewhere you know will always be with you (a wallet works best). On the day of the wedding, take in everything going on around you. Think about how meaningful that day is to the bride and groom; pull out your list some time during that day and remind yourself of what you wrote down while taking in the sights and sounds of such an exciting day going on around you.

Right before you give the wedding reception speech, simply remind yourself that you are so important to the bride and groom that they wanted you to share part of the spotlight with them. Hopefully, the hard part is over; you probably helped them get through the trials of dating. You were probably there when they first started dating and went through the nervousness phase; and, you were probably right by one of their sides (because I'm sure you had to pick just one) when they had their first major fight. (Actually, I would bet you were there to listen to how great everything was when they made up after that huge blow-up.) And now after everything you had been through with your friends, it is your chance to honor them as newlyweds and wish them the best that their marriage has to offer.

Also, keep in mind that there is no time minimum or maximum; there are no rules that say your speech has to be at least this long and under this amount of time. Say what you feel from the heart and do not worry about the length. Just have fun with it; no one is there to judge you if you falter a bit. Besides, when the couple is celebrating 25 years of marriage down the road, no one at that celebration is going to remember that you were so nervous you mispronounced a word at the reception; they're going to remember you as being the best man or maid of honor who gave a touching and heartfelt speech about two important people in their lives.