Overcoming Anxiety and Panic; It Can Be Done, and I'm Living Proof

There is nothing worse than experiencing panic/anxiety attacks, and I would not wish that on my worst enemy. But, since I have had to deal with this in my life, I decided to reach out to anyone else who may be affected by this disease to let them know that it can be managed.

My first problems started at the age of 17, after leaving home and moving away to a new city 90 miles from home. They began as a sense of dread, feeling faint, hopelessness, helplessness and just sheer panic. This was back in the 1970's, when there really was not a diagnosis for these attacks. To make matters worse, I suffered with this for about a year before even seeking treatment. Luckily, one day when I was visiting my general practitioner, he noted that something seemed off with me. That was all it took; I broke down crying and told him that I thought I was losing my mind. He sent me to a psychiatrist and I went through a gamut of tests, including an MMPI, which suggested a "possible personality disorder." He finally prescribed Valium to me, which helped immensely. Though this was helping me, I was now worrying about becoming addicted to the drug, but I did not want to EVER have to experience another panic/anxiety attack, so I continued on with the medication for years.

Years later, my doctor told me he wanted to switch my medication to Xanax as this was a less-addicting drug. I was petrified that it would not work, but finally switched over to it. It was amazing. I was so relieved that I actually felt normal again. I was on a 3-times-a-day dosage of 0.25 mg (which is a relatively low dose) for years. After years of suffering with the stigma that I thought I was abnormal or less than whole, I was finally given the diagnosis of panic attacks which probably were set off by severe depression. I was not actually diagnosed with depression back then, but have since been so diagnosed. I now know, looking back, that I was seriously depressed at the time that the attacks first manifested. I used to have no ambition whatsoever; just wanted to lay around, watch TV, sleep, etc.

I am now 50 years old and was officially diagnosed approximately five years ago with depression, and was started on Celexa, at a low dose. After being treated with Celexa for a period of time, I actually started forgetting to take my Xanax. I now carry the Xanax with me, kind of as a security blanket for that just in case situation, but have not had panic or anxiety attacks for a couple of years now. I cannot even describe how fantastic it feels to carry on with a normal life again. I even love to fly away to vacation spots. Flying used to be one of my triggers for the panic/anxiety attacks.

In summary, if anyone is suffering from these attacks, seek help right away. It is not something to be ashamed of and is far more common than you think. I would never want to go back in time and go through that again, but, if I can be of any help to someone else, I guess it will have been worth it.