Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a big obstacle. It can slow you down, even keep you from accomplishing anything at all. I've learned some things, mostly through trial and error, but also through reading self-help books, that have helped me to be able to cope with being overly perfectionistic. I think these tips might be helpful to others as well:

1. Think about whether it's worth it, in a particular situation, to try to be perfect. It doesn't work to simply make a blanket rule, to tell yourself that perfectionism is always bad and must always be avoided. In some situations, perfectionism can be a good trait. It's good for surgeons to concentrate as perfectly as they can and for pilots to be perfectly sober. Artists often aim for perfection in their work, spending years getting a novel or a painting or a symphony just right.

In most situations, though, perfectionism will get in the way of what you are trying to accomplish. If you don't want to clean out a closet until you have the time, energy, and desire to do it perfectly, you may never do it at all. If you're an academic who needs to publish often in order to advance your career, you can shoot yourself in the foot by obsessing over one perfect paper in the time that you could have written three papers that were more than good enough. If you are a freelance writer whose income depends on the quantity of pieces that you write, perfectionism can slow you down and lower your income.

So the first step in overcoming perfectionism is to think about the specific task that you are trying to accomplish. Look at it as objectively as you can, and decide whether it is more helpful or more harmful to aim for perfection in this particular situation.

2. If you have decided that perfectionism is getting in your way on a particular task, then tell yourself that your goal on that task is to do an average job. If you are the typical perfectionist, then you probably will protest strongly at the notion that you can be average. A lot of your identity is tied up in thinking you are above average! But stick with it. Try it as an experiment. Aim to do an average job, and see what happens. Ask yourself some questions when you are done. How did you feel while you did the task? Where you more or less tense than usual? How did you feel when you were done? What was the quality of the job that you did? Was it better or worse than usual? Did the quality suffer by your aiming to be average instead of perfect? Were you able to do it more quickly than usual? How much does that matter, for this particular task?

3. It may help to do some introspection. What is driving your perfectionism? Did a parent drum into your head when you were a child that you must always do certain things perfectly? If so, consider whether that message is helping or hurting you in the present. Are you trying to overcompensate for feelings of inferiority? Working on self-acceptance can help ease those underlying feelings.

4. Perfectionism can be a deeply ingrained habit. Don't expect to change it overnight! Keep on practicing the exercises suggested in this article and others you may come across or think of yourself. Give yourself plenty of time and don't expect to get it perfectly right. Don't be a perfectionist about overcoming perfectionism!