Overcoming the Physical Pain Associated with Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse

After having a conversation recently with several survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I was reminded, once again, about how much physical pain there is in this recovery process. Because it has been several years since I have had to deal with the body pain, the flashbacks, and the body memories, I had almost forgotten about this painful process. I hope the above comment alone will serve as an incentive for survivors to continue moving forward in their own healing process. It really does get better . . . much better!

The Process of Dealing With Repressed Memories

Over the years, I have worked alongside many survivors of sexual abuse and I also have my own experience from which to draw. Almost without fail, anyone who has repressed memories will develop pain in their body prior to beginning the recovery process. Most of us are diagnosed with such things as Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and we are put through a myriad of tests only to find nothing significant as the root cause for our pain. It is always a good idea to have a physical examination in order to rule out any causes for the pain, but once that is done, it is time to look at how repressing memories (holding them inside our bodies and minds) impacts our physical bodies.

My Personal Experience

In my own personal experience, shortly after beginning the healing process, I began to have severe pain in my left upper back, near the shoulder blade. The pain intensified to the point that it hurt to breathe. I had already been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia several years earlier so I figured it was a flare-up of fibromyalgia pain. However, after having a discussion with the leaders of my support group, they prayed with me about the pain and asked God to reveal whatever He needed for me to know about my past abuse. Within a day or two, the repressed memory surfaced while I was at home. It was totally devastating to me at the time, but I soon realized that the horrible pain in my back was gone. It seems that we, as survivors, work so hard to contain our memories and not allow them out, that we physically hurt. It is also exhausting to constantly repress memories, even though we do not even realize we are doing this. I found that the key to pain relief was in allowing the memories to surface. This process of physical pain, memory recovery and being pain free, was repeated many, many times over a couple of years in my life. Today, I am pain free.

Most of us suffer from physical, emotional and spiritual distress as survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest. The recovery process is long and difficult for sure, but I can tell you that it is worth it! Once those repressed memories are released from our minds and bodies, we are able to function in life on a new level that is far better than we could have ever imagined. Don't be afraid to do the hard work of recovery and remember that recovery is a process.

Recommended Reading

Today there are a number of really good books that help survivors with understanding how this recovery process works. There are two that I always highly recommend:

1) The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender, Ph.D.
2) On The Threshold of Hope by Diane Mandt Langberg