Oxytocin - Why Love Matters

Some people claim that sex can just be sex. It's why "friends with benefits" doesn't work, no matter how little the two parties may feel about each other before the relationship starts. Friends who only ever want to be friends may alter when sex becomes a part of the equation. Why? Well, it's not just the idea of love, when a boy and girl are intimate feelings re bound to develop. Actually, it's something much more chemical and that chemical is called oxytocin and it is released in men and women after an orgasm.

Sex really can change everything. The intimacy felt post coitus could be the result of that hormone release. It may be why couples are likely to want to cuddle after sex. It is why sex might lead to intimacy and love. Truth is, without the release of oxytocin, you could not fall in love.

Oxytocin is a hormone that has been studied and considered the cuddle chemical. It facilitates all our important interpersonal relationships including romantic love, and maternal love. It is responsible for our close bonds. It's now assumed to be the chemical that facilitates our interpersonal relationships, which is why it has been called the "Cuddle Chemical". (Oxytocin.org)

Oxytocin is released in the hypothalamus after sex, during lactation and during uterine contractions. It is then released into the blood by the pituitary gland into other parts of the brain and the spinal cord. It then binds to the oxytocin receptors where it begins to influence our emotions and behavior.

A study conducted on non-lactating women indicates that a person whose oxytocin levels during massages and remembering a positive interpersonal experience have less difficulty with independence and self esteem. Those whose oxytocin levels fall when recalling negative relationships said they felt anxiety about their interpersonal relationships. There is a link between how well one handles relationships and how their brain processes oxytocin.

Beyond just sex, oxytocin is also released when we are caring and loving towards something. It's the reason why people who have a loving partner will recover quicker from an illness. It's also the reason why those with a loving and loyal pet will also experience less depression over their lifetime. It's why married people will also live longer, why care-givers are more likely to be calmer and are more likely to stand up to social stress better. It's also why allowing your partner to care for you when you're sick may actually benefit you both and make the intimacy in the relationship stronger.

The truth is, the more you give, the more you get - especially when it comes to oxytocin. The more you nurture and care the more benefits you get. The more you feel connected with another person (or even pet) the less stress, the more love and the better health you will be in.

So maybe there is more truth in the old adage "Love conquers all".

Sources
DeAngelis, Tori. The Two Faces of Oxytocin. Monitor on Psychology. (http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/oxytocin.html)