Ozzy Osbourne Quotes: His Top Ten Best Quotations & Funniest Sayings

Ozzy Osbourne is a rock legend and his quotes are just as noteworthy as his music. The rocker has a few inspiring quotes and a few depressing ones, but his best funny quotes easily top all of those. Here are Ozzy Osbourne's top ten funniest quotations and sayings.

Quote on those evil bubbles

"Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm f*cking Ozzy Osbourne , I'm the Prince of f*cking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's f*cking evil about a sh*tload of bubbles!?"

What smirk?

"Every time I mention the vagina doctor, you get this little smirk on your face."

Nicotine patches for dogs?

"Dogs smoke in France."

Oh, c'mon. That isn't such an odd thing to do.

"I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober."

Should we all get Ozzy Osbourne shots?

"I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots."

Ozzy Osbourne quote on one of his favorite fragrances

"I love the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory."

Quote on the land of the free, or the land of McDonald's

"I want to be American. America is the coolest place on the face of the Earth. You've got freedom of speech. You've got McDonald's."

Ozzy Osbourne quote on quitting smoking

"I've had every known chemical--cocaine, booze--and tobacco is the hardest one in the world for me to quit. You watch old flicks? It's suggestion by looking at something: You see a cigarette, and it makes you want to smoke!"

Anybody else feel like testing Ozzy Osbourne's theory out right now?

"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus."

Who is Ozzy Osbourne?

"I'm about caring, I'm about people, and I'm about entertaining people. I'm a family man. A husband. A father. I've been a lot of other things over the years, which we don't really want to talk about. I'm always working on trying to better myself, you know? I think that that is an ongoing thing with me."

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