Page-View Poison: AC is Awesome, and so is Audrey (But NBC Sucks)
January 25, 2010
Last week I went over 100,000 page views and won a PMA for Content of the Year! Then, out of nowhere, a cute little "Top 1000" badge appeared on my AC profile page. Does it get any better than that? (Well, yeah, the "Top 100" badge is better, obviously, but I'm still pretty darn excited about sneaking into the "Top 1000.")
Outside of AC, things are just as good. I didn't have to go to Children's Mercy Hospital at all last week. This is the longest I've been away from Children's Mercy since my daughter, Audrey, started cancer treatment last September. Now, that is something to celebrate: nine full days of no needle pokes and no mysterious fevers! YAY! Audrey's been eating well and actually playing. You really have no idea how wonderful it is to see her playing again. I'm getting misty-eyed.
I didn't publish a "Page-View Poison" article last week and I was worried that I might not get around to it this week, either, because of Audrey's two upcoming clinic appointments (chemo on Monday morning and a chemo shot on Tuesday morning). But I can't disappoint all of you like that. For goodness sakes, if I don't entertain you, who will? Conan O'Brien?! Now I'm getting misty-eyed again.
Conan's been kicked off "The Tonight Show" on NBC, you know. And all he ever did was make me laugh a billion times more than Jay Leno...
I'm sure Conan will be just fine. Thank goodness Associated Content can't fire us for poor page-view performance. (They can't, can they?)
I'm skipping my next regular feature-the "Creative Writing Exercise"-because I've been very lazy and haven't added a single sentence to my story about the garbage men. Does anyone even remember the story I started two weeks ago? The strippers and the blind chihuahua and whatnot? I will finish it, but not right now. I've got lots and lots of pity page views to hand out. But before I start, here's a quick "What's Worse?"
What's Worse? (Let me know in the comments section below!)
A) Waking up with an enormous zit on the tip of your nose
B) Realizing, after you've just clocked-in at work, that you forgot to put on deodorant
Featured Poisonous Articles of the Week
Please continue to send me links to your most "poisonous" content on AC-any articles, stories, poems, slideshows, or videos that have ridiculously-low page views. (I'd say anything under 30 page views qualifies.)
Here are four quick, poisonous pieces that deserve your attention:
"Talent Oozing," an excellent poem by Theresa Wiza
"I Want to Go Out with a Look of Excruciating Pain," a hilarious article by Frank Mucci
"Nonsense Creatures: The Facefish of Hawaii," a scary/cute picture by Paul Rance
"The Catharsis of Long Lost Brotherly Love," an article by JerseyNana that reminds us all of what's truly important in life
Thank you for helping me to give these talented AC Contributors a well-deserved boost. Have a great week!
Published by Maria Roth
I love popcorn, cashews, cheesecake, Jane Austen, my husband and children, and Conan O'Brien. Why should you be jealous of me? I am double-jointed in both thumbs, I live in Kansas, I'm tall, and I'm modest... View profile
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- Last week I went over 100,000 page views and won a PMA for Content of the Year!
- And Audrey had nine full days of no needle pokes and no mysterious fevers! YAY!
- I love, love, LOVE Conan O'Brien! I can't wait to see what he does next.
52 Comments
Post a CommentCongrats on your badges :)
Amusing stuff and always glad to read Audrey's doing well. I remember one Conan bit that was good for a snort: "Wall Street really took a pounding today...Star Jones added it to her jogging route."
Oh, hey... on zit v. deoderant: Depends on perspective. Some folks poison the air w/ their potent BO. But a zit can be gross & painful. So a zit can be awful & humiliating to the wearer. But strong B.O. can affect everyone in the vicinity. Tough choice. Since I'm perspirationally-challenged & hardly sweat, forgetting deoderant for one day would go unnoticed. But a big zit on my nose... owww! If you think that's bad though, try being 13 & going to jr high w/a HUGE red, painful, ready-to-burst BOIL on the tip of your nose! Your whole face throbs w/ pain & people stare & move aside like you're a leper! From harsh experience, I'm tellin' ya, that's worse!
All the good Audrey news tops everything! And don't worry abt your disappearing badge too much, Maria. Jaipi & others have had their Featured Content Producer status disappear the same way! Unsettling, but I suspect the usual AC glitch quotient is at work the way it always does when format changes are underway. I've been crushin' on Greg Ferguson since he came on. And I'm true only to him late, late at night. (Hey, Doug's snoring by then!zzzzzz) Thanks for pointing us to the lonely poisoned articles. Great idea!
Fun article!
It's heartening to read that I am not the only one who has skin that still breaks out sometimes, even though I am supposedly long past the dreaded acne years. I have had the awful experience of having a giant zit appear on my nose--fortunately, I was not working at the time, but I still had to deal with being around people somehow. I remember that it hurt every time I blew my nose, which was often, because I have all kinds of allergies. The non-deodorant thing is gross, but a zit is grosser, IMHO. A really unfortunate soul would be afflicted with both at once.
I live in the south so I say the deodorant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The zit lasts for days and the deodorant only until you can sneak out to buy some, so I'll pass on the zit. You can give mine to the idiot who canceled Conan- especially if it's a great big glowing juicy one.
Congratulations on everything, Maria! Great to hear that little Audrey is playing :)
Great week! Congrats:) Hey, there's a reason I keep a spare deodorant in my locker at work!