Pain in Finding Happiness: Broken Promises

The loving embrace that gave Christy hope really was only one loving embrace, after that they returned to their mundane and almost solitary lives. Frank had no desire to be intimate, no desire to work, and no desire to act like a father. In his mind he had already given up his entire life for Christy and the kids, it was a lie he told himself and in his mind it was the truth. He honestly thought that giving up drinking was his part in their lives, the only thing he should have to do.

From that day on he would use his forced sobriety as an excuse for anything he was unwilling to do. He started staying up all night playing video games and as soon as the real world woke up he would turn in for an all day sleep fest. He would watch Internet porn even though he refused any such contact with his wife. After repeated promises to not watch it anymore Frank continued to lie and watch his porn anytime Christy left the home. Christy couldn't understand why he would want to watch these disgusting videos and please himself but he still wouldn't touch her; she was beautiful and needed the same attention he gave to videos.

Christy was more alone than ever as she went on about her daily life, running the household while her husband slept. When confronted he would argue that the video games helped keep his mind off drinking and that he was not responsible for his insomnia. Frank would claim that Christy was not supportive of him and he always had a "good" excuse for any shortcomings. He would deny watching the porn, even blame it on Christy's teenage son. On the off chance that Frank did admit to watching them he would become defensive saying that Christy was trying to control him or that he didn't "watch" the videos, he only clicked on it then closed it out. Christy grew more and more tired of the lies and broken promises each day.

Christy would have helped him through the insomnia, the withdrawals, and the pain if only he had allowed her to. He didn't want to be helped though, he was happy not having to be present in their marriage and he could tell the world he was trying. He had a good game, he would say he tried to sleep, he tried to get a job, and that he was doing all he could. The problem was that he was the only person who believed his lies, the only one who couldn't see reality.

Night after night Christy would sleep alone, listening to the sound of gunshots from the game. She heard these games so much in her sleep that she began to have bad dreams and suffer "real" insomnia. She couldn't capture more than 2 or 3 hours of intermittent sleep and still had to be a mommy and a wife. All of the strains that any average married couple faced together Christy had to face alone. Their financial troubles, the children, and the household chores were her cross to bear. The stress was piling up on Christy and her health was greatly affected, she had become a zombie and was sick more often than not.

Through it all Christy still felt as though she could not leave Frank. They were more like room mates than partners, Frank had not touched her in months and she no longer wanted him to. The silent pain that Christy endured had made her bitter as she spent her days wishing he would just leave her. She wanted her health and happiness back, but didn't want to take it. What she needed was for Frank to give it back to her willingly, but he had it good and would not leave no matter what was going on.

Why would he, he was living life on easy street. As long as he could make himself look like the good guy who was trying and still get his way he had no reason to end his marriage and return to a world where no one would baby him. The truth was that if Frank were a bachelor again he would have to work, he would have to be somewhat responsible and responsibility was what he was hiding from.

If you are just joining us in this mini series please go back and read Christy's saga from the beginning.
PART ONE: OVERCOMING FEARS

PART TWO: THE SAGA CONTINUES

PART 3: HIS NAME WAS FRANK

PART 4: BLINDED BY LOVE, BONDED THROUGH FEAR

PART 5: CHRISTY'S LEGACY