Pam Babcock Spent 2 Years on Toilet with PTSD?

Pam Babcock of Ness City, Kansas, lived with long-time boyfriend Kory McFarren for over 16 years. For 2 of those 14 years, Pam's childhood abuse related phobias would not allow her to leave the bathroom. Kory cared for his mate daily, understanding Pam's need for the mental security that she found while perched on her private chair.

The Associated Press explains how authorities were called by Kory after he became concerned over his mate acting disoriented. When authorities arrived, they found that Pam had lost the use of her legs from toilet sitting so long. Authorities also found Pam pleading to stay exactly where she was.

Across the internet today, people are laughing and joking about this family with one member choosing to live in the bathroom. Some are assuming that Kory is somehow responsible for Pam choosing the unusual life-style choice of toilet sitting.

I view this sad situation differently than most; I am an abuse survivor.

Kory was interviewed briefly in the AP article, and is asking that, "Tell people," he said, "to leave me the hell alone." He attempts to explain that he will stand by his mate and care for her when she returns from the hospital, and that many people have abuse related phobias that they live with. In my opinion, Pam is very lucky to have a Kory in her life.

I predict that after all is said and done that Pam will be found to be suffering from a form of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that we commonly associate only with military participation. What happens is that a woman like Pam can escape from her abuser physically, but she can never escape from her memories, nor control when her body might form a physical reaction to these horrific repeating images.

Pam and I are sharing an abuse time-line. Our abuse happened over a period of about 10 years. We both moved on to lead a relatively normal life for the next 20 years, and then one day, somebody knocks on the door wrong and poof! Our long-dead demons are back.

PTSD memories play hell with all areas of your life while they are active. A common result of these memories is the overwhelming desire to stay completely away from anything that can trigger these bad thoughts again. It isn't hard for me to understand how Pam as an abused child may have sought a moment of safety by going into the bathroom.

If Pam grew up believing that the bathroom was the safest and most desirable room of the house, if she is experiencing PTSD now, that room may be the only room in her home that will not bring on those overwhelming traumatic images. People with PTSD sometimes experience strong enough memories that the images even include smells.

People with PTSD are totally aware that their actions associated with staying away from items, areas, people, or events that will trigger bad flashbacks look silly to people who have never experienced a full fledged flashback of a traumatic event. My home does not have a ringing telephone. I have done away with the bells that can trigger a flashback.

Sometimes people with PTSD are not aware of why they are sheltering themselves, they just know that it must be done. I suspect that this is Pam's situation with her bathroom. She probably just knows that she feels better while sitting there all safe and sound.

Basically, there's not much that anybody can do about PTSD except to try to recondition the mind to go around, or to overcome the thoughts involved. Some are helped by mental health services, and others choose to try to help themselves through this debilitating experience. With Pam, it is obvious to me, that Kory is trying in his own way to help her, while she was trying in her own way to help herself.

Abuse can result in PTSD. The web-page information about abuse or PTSD very rarely mentions that abuse can lead to a person having this disorder show up many years after the actual events. Abuse and PTSD are not often mentioned together, so that many abuse survivors are unaware that they have PTSD while symptoms are going on. Click here to read more about PTSD symptoms.