Panda Ambassador

The world watched as the plane carrying 4 year old Panda Tai Shan took off from Washington, DC. Press coverage of his return home to China, which he had never seen, matched presidential inaugurations but Tai Shan was not sure what he thought about it all.

Caretakers talked about another American born Panda headed to Chengdu who might even be on the same plane but Tai Shan wasn't sure about that either because his caretakers always spoke in hushed voices where they thought he couldn't hear.

Tai preferred to be called Shawn but apparently that wasn't appropriate for a Panda ambassador.

"Giant Panda's are Chinese and you must embrace a proper Chinese name." The caretakers had explained.

"Someday you will be an important diplomat" they had promised. "You must be prepared and you must use your proper name Tai Shan."

As the plane took off and he felt the pressure change he thought about Malia. The last time she visited him at the zoo she was the only person that seemed to be making sense.

"I'm going to miss you Shawn." she consoled him. "Important things are done by teleconference and webcast all the time. I don't understand why you can't be Panda Ambassador from right here."

Shawn had heard the whispers and he knew why. This wasn't about immersing him into his native culture or any of the other lies it was about political power. Chinese researchers had begun to truly understand the Giant Panda and could not risk the rest of the world finding out so they recalled all of the noble species.

***

Mei Lan was tired of lessons, tired of new food and wanted to go home. She missed the American zoo and hated the way she was shipped across the world. Allowing fans to gaze at pictures of potential mates and vote on who she should date was gosh and insulting.

Reality TV had been her least favorite part of living in America even if it was a expedient way to study human behavior. Mai Lan had spent her entire life learning about humans as she watched them at the zoo. It was a perfect cross section of American humans where all kinds of people came even though the human environment of the zoo was as contrived as the fake Sahara exhibit that housed the African species.

Initially Mei Lan had been excited about the chance to study with other Panda's but the whole thing turned out to be a fiasco. The Panda dialects were too varied and they could not understand each other. It was frustrating because their natural communication had been stunted growing up in isolated captivity.

For years the secret delegation had kept in touch through their keepers by manipulating the humans' research but the information degraded with translation. In order to get a message from the Atlanta Panda's back to the Chinese council they had to get the zoo keeper in Atlanta to talk to a researcher in China so every message was being translated from American Panda to English to Chinese to Chinese Panda.

It had been a few years since the council decided that their understanding in human behavior was full enough and the time was right to announce their existence to select members of humanity.

The Chengdu Panda Breeding Research Center was getting very close to understanding. They had realized that the Giant Panda's reluctance to breed was more sentient than anyone had suspected.

Mai Lin had really believed that coming to Chengdu was the start of exciting things but apparently she was just another Panda even to the Panda council and Tai Shan was nothing more than an ungrateful, arrogant twit.

Who in their right mind would want to be called Shawn?

This was not the name of a great diplomat. He had the intellect of a fish but they were preparing him to be the First Panda Ambassador to the humans and she was nothing more than a clerk.

Was this just universal fate because he was born in Washington DC and she was destined to be in a Georgia zoo?

Maybe it didn't matter because they were who and where they were and she was a nobody that human panda fans thought would make cute babies with Superman Kobe. Another stupid name.