Pan's Sexual Labrinyth

Welcome to the sexual revolution. It happens every couple of decades, or so. Alas, it has arrived-here in two- thousand seven. You think I am joking? No such luck my friend. I am a very open individual. If someone feels like going through and enumerating all of their most recent sexual exploits, and preferences, that is totally fine with me. However, when someone says that they are pan-sexual I begin to wonder-are they trying too hard to be cool, or would they really be okay with having sexual relations with a goat? Isn't the concept of pan-sexuality that you are willing to try having sex with almost anything or anyone?

Tri-sexual is also an interesting concept. Do people take themselves seriously with this? So, you will have relations with a guy, a girl, and I don't know, a trans-gender? A clown? All of this makes the plethora of sexuality folks sound A. a bit desperate B.greedy and C. creepy. I mean, who admits that he or she has, or has the desire to have sexual exploits with an animal? I mean except Richard Gere and the gerbil up the pooper thing, but besides him.

It's funny to me, I was at my boyfriend's the other day. He was showing me some stuff on his computer. And he clicked on file, and I was in amazement. It was this video that apparently had aired on Japanese television of a room full of white mattresses all built into the floor. And couples were set up one per mattress. And they were all Asian men and woman, and per each square the couples were all doing the same sex act synchronized with the rest of the room. So the moans were in sync. . .everything, even the hand motions of men trying to get women off. I thought I was going to vomit. I think he was showing it to me for shock value cause he saw it, on some website, but still it kind of upset me. People take sexuality for granted so much they'll just do it in a room with hundreds of other people? I feel like it's so much more private, at least for me, and honestly, I don't want to hear hundreds of Asian women moaning in sync. It kind of sounds like a jungle. You don't believe me .. . go on digg, I think it's on there.

As for tri-sexuals have they thought of "trying" something else? I mean, perhaps with a high dose of Zoloft with a little Wellbutrin and some Xanax for an extra kick they would be just fine. I mean what if someone were to say they were "pan-racial". You have that many mommies and daddies, or you just feel linked to a multitude of cultures and nationalities? Honestly when I hear the world Tri-I think of tricycles. Then, when I hear Pan I think of Pan-fried noodles. And Bi-you can just forget about my shopping addiction and extensive Am ex bills.

So here lies the question-is there such a thing as a plethora of sexuality? One of my friends thinks that she coined the term "Pan-sexual" while Samantha on "Sex and the City" has called herself a tri-sexual and admitted that she'd try anything at least once.

Whether it's myth or reality, it's certainly curious enough, Pan's Sexual Labyrinth. I hope when the next sexual revolution comes people will have more simple desires. Maybe they'll get tired of all this excess. Maybe the next new craze will be watching bunnies have sex in the grass? I mean . . doesn't that seem natural to you?