Parent Abuse: When the Teenager is the Abuser

You might be asking yourself, "What is parent abuse?" Parent abuse is when a parent is suffering abuse at the hands of their own child. When we think of abuse in a family, the first thing that comes to mind is a child being abused. But there is another form of abuse that is probably one of the best kept secrets. It is parent abuse. Try doing a search on the Internet. You will not find an abundance of information, or statistics either.

The Secret

Many parents keep parent abuse secret for different reasons. For the most part it is out of guilt or shame. They feel as if they have failed their child, that some how it is their fault. After all, how many times have you heard an adult say, " Well it is the parents fault they act like that." You might even hear someone imply that if a child is abusive, then most certainly the parent must have done something to them to cause it. Some even go as far as to imply that the parent themselves, were the abuser and created the situation. Is it any wonder that parents hide this terrible secret?

Forms of Abuse

Parent abuse can present itself in many forms. It can range anywhere from physical to psychological verbal abuse. Name calling, belittling, manipulating, threatening and actually physically harming a parent, are all forms of abuse. The abuse can start with harmful words and escalate to actual physical violence.

Causes and Finding Treatment

The facts are that parent abuse can be caused by a vast array of different problems your teenager might have. Some teens are violent because of emotional or psychological problems, or because they have suffered from abuse themselves. Other teens may have a drug or alcohol addiction that is creating their problem behavior. There are different types of treatment according to the diagnosis of why a teenager is abusing a parent.

It is up to the parent to speak out and seek help. A therapist, counselor or a psychiatrist might be the place to start. Find someone that is familiar with parent abuse. You need a skilled professional that can lead you in the right direction. It can be very difficult to find help. It may take several different attempts before a parent can find the help they need.

Behavioral modifications, medication, counseling, and even camps or facilities for problem children might be a solution. The best thing parents can do is to find a place where they are comfortable. If their gut feelings are telling them they do not agree with the treatment a professional is recommending, then it is time to move on. Parents must remember this is their child and their child's future they dealing with. Never settle for second best. Unfortunately answers do not come over night. Any parent suffering from parent abuse has a long road ahead of them.

Keeping Yourself Safe

Staying safe and finding help are the most important things a parent must do. Call 911 if you have to. Many parents are afraid to call when their child is physically abusing them. The fact of the matter is you have to keep yourself and your family safe. Calling the police is not a sign you do not love your child. It is a sign that your putting your foot down and stopping the violence. You cannot allow a child to physically harm you or any other members of your family. Violence is something that does not go away. The fact of the matter is, violence generally increases when it left unattended.

Parents Need Support

Parents should seek out support groups. Other parents going through the same difficulties as you, are a great source of support and information. Utilize the information support groups can offer. You may find some ideas you never thought of. It is also a place to learn you are not alone in your struggle.

Be Strong

Parents must be strong when dealing with abuse from their children. Stand up and yell from the roof tops if you have to. Do what ever it takes to get people to listen to you, and provide help for you and your teenager. If you do not like the answers a professional is offering, get a second opinion. Do not be afraid to question anyone.

Stand up and be counted and informed. Take charge and do not allow abuse to continue or escalate. Call the police if your child physically harms you.

You might have to make some tough decisions. Just remember when you are making those decisions, it is in the best interest of your child. You want to help your child get help, keep yourself safe, and build a new peaceful, lasting relationship with your child. Just be prepared for the long road ahead. It will be worth it in the end, when you and your child can regain a loving productive relationship. A relationship every parent and child has a right to enjoy.