Parent Child Date Nights?

When I was in elementary school, my dad took me out on father/daughter dates once every couple months. These dates usually consisted of breakfast at the local waffle shop before school. These dates were so special and seemed to revolve solely around the two of us. He would talk to me about things that were happening in his life and ask me questions about the happenings of my life. I was never a morning person but on those mornings I woke with a sense of excitement that was usually reserved for the first day of school and shopping for new clothes. In those dates I found a connection with my father that made me feel grown up and special.

When I had children, I knew that parent/child dates were going to be an integral part of our family life. Fortunately, I married and man who felt the same way! With the parent/child date in mind, we set out a realistic schedule and plan for consistently carrying out these dates so that our children would come to count on them and look forward to them. It is my firm belief that most parents want to take time to connect with their children, but without a plan life can pass by too quickly. After several adjustments we now have date plans that are such an important part of our lives that they rarely get missed. Last night, my son went to my husband and told him that he needed a date. I gave a silent cheer that my son not only wanted to spend time connecting with his father but that he knew how to ask for it.

Every family will have their own unique touch on the parent/child date plan but the basics remain the same. The first thing we did was determined how often it was realistic for each parent to go on dates with each child. For our family, we determined that each of our children would have individual dates with each parent, once per month. This part of the plan has worked very well for each member of our family. We also determined that even though I am a homemaker and spend a great deal of time with our children, that is was also imperative that I go on individual dates with the children. Parent/child dates are not only about time but also about time without distractions. Each child gets personal, individualized attention that just cannot realistically occur in day-to-day life.

Now comes the definition of a "date". The first barrier in a family date plan may be the perceived expense. This does not have to be the case. Our dates have ranged from going to the movies (rare and on the expensive end of the date spectrum) to two hour-long bike rides through our community. There are limitless options. Going to the library can even be a date with a child who loves to read and thumb through the stacks. When I was pregnant with our youngest, I was very ill and spent a great deal of time in bed. I remember several dates that involved watching a DVD in my bedroom or my sons favorite, bed football. We had a soft, stuffed football that we played catch with on the bed. It was so fun and we laughed hysterically. The length of the dates varies according to child age and activity but the result is consistently a happy child and parent, a stronger bond, and wonderful memories.

When we started family dates we thought we were doing it for the children. What has happened through the years is that we have all come to count on our dates. There are so many different stages in each child's development and sometimes the date can be what breaks through teenage attitude or a particularly whinny day. As my older children have expressed the desire to go on dates that sometimes cost more than what is in the family budget, we have used that opportunity to teach them about financial responsibility and creative earning. We have utilized craigslist and ebay on several occasions and earned enough for extra special dates. Finally, we have learned to be creative. You may not think you have the time for this but I assure you, if you make the time you and your children will all benefit greatly.