Parent Management for Youth Sports Coaches

After coaching literally dozens of youth sports teams while my children were growing up, I actually learned more than a few things. One of the truths of coaching is that it often takes more energy and creativity to manage the parents than it does to manage the kids! I've put together a few suggestions and tips for coaches to help in dealing with the menagerie of parents that make up every team.

1. As soon as you take on the job of coach and get your roster of children, put together a list of "rules" and expectations on paper and get it out to the parents. This doesn't have to be a long twelve-page policy manual - but it should cover things like what to do if a practice or game must be missed, how soon to be at a game site before the game, what sort of gear is expected, and what your philosophies are about coaching. The more detail, the better. This way, people will not be able to say "I didn't know." and you can have your expectations down in writing.

2. Make a decision about whether you want parents to stay for practices or not and make sure everyone knows your decision. For the very young kids, I often asked that at least one parent stay for practice - this helped with behavior and toileting issues, AND made sure that everyone could leave on time at the end of practice. As children get older, having parents at practice can be more of a distraction than a help. So, decide what works best for you (and fits within the guidelines of your youth sports league) and stick to it.

3. Get a team organizer or parent. I learned this over time, and now I wouldn't coach a team without one. When you hold your team meeting (number four), if not before, recruit a parent or two to take over the organizing of snacks, parties, trophies, arranging for photos, creating a phone tree for game cancellations, etc. Any non-coaching-essential jobs can be taken over by a helpful parent. This leaves you free to focus on planning practices and coaching and gives someone else a chance to become more involved.

4. Hold a team meeting. Prior to your first practice (or immediately after the first one) call a team meeting and make sure everyone gets a copy of your expectations "in writing", a list of who's on the team and who their parents are and that everyone gets a chance to meet each other and find out which child belongs to which parents. This is also the forum for you to reinforce what your philosophies and expectations are and answer any questions parents might have. This is also a forum for parents to let you know if there are any issues or concerns they have - be sure to ask parents to feel free to share. You'll want to keep things on a positive and optimistic note, but be really clear and firm about what you'd like to see happen.

5. Set a good example. By modeling for the parents respectfulness, good sportsmanship, positive encouragement and realistic expectations, you'll be creating a culture for mature behavior around your team (it may even seep over into your league). If a parent is inappropriate at a game, or a child is having behavior issues, it is your job to talk to the parent(s). Address things sooner rather than later and both the kids and the parents will see that you are responsible and in control. This will also create a group dynamic and peer pressure will work in your favor as parents quickly learn what is expected and what will and will not be tolerated "on our team."