Parent Tips on Helping Your Child Deal with Bullies at School

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, up to half of all children are bullied at some point during their school years. Bullying today is a very serious problem that many parents will most likely face with their child. Bullying comes in many different forms including name-calling, rudeness humiliation, and intimidation. Bullying can even be physical which could cause physical harm to your child. Bullying not only happens in person between kids face to face, but with our technology today growing so quickly, you are seeing bullying online and texting through cell phones. Here are eleven great tips for parents so they can help their child deal with bullying that is going on in school.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #1: Identify the Problem

The very first step in helping your child deal with a bully at school is to identify the problem. If you child is being bullied at school, it may be very difficult for them to open up to you. It is very painful when you are being bullied. Ask questions and talk to your child about their friends at school, classes, subjects or anything that will slowly help your child to open up.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #2: Do Not Enable Your Child

You need to work together with your child to help them come up with a plan for your child to deal with the bullying at school. If you deal with their problems yourself for them, they will never learn in life how to stand up for themselves to deal with their own problems. They will rely on you and could possibly manifest into the child's teenage and adult years where they can't handle situations. You should also encourage your child to walk away and do not fight back and if the situation is physical, seek a teacher or another parent around. Now if the problem is serious and a threat that someone will get hurt, then you need to immediately take action and contact the school.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #3: Explain to Your Child the Definition of Bully

Explain to your child what the word "Bullying" means and help them understand that the main goal of a bully is to get a response from them. The person that bullies loves controlling and domination. Explain to your child that a person that bullies may have a problem like depression or anger issues. If your child just walks away and doesn't fight back, the bullying might stop because your child isn't showing any response that it is irritating him or her.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #4: Talk to Your Child

Ask you child what she has done at school herself in regards to the bullying. Go over with what worked and what didn't work to see what your child can do next. Work with them to come up with a plan in case he or she is bullied again. Even write things down on paper so your child can visually see what is going on and how they are going to handle the situation.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #5: Role Play with your Child

Role-play with your child of some situations that happened. You play the bully and let your child practice her responses. This will help your child with their confidence and be able to handle situations easier because they have practiced with you.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #6: Ask your Child to Meet with A counselor at School

Ask your child to meet with a school counselor or principal. The counselor or principal most likely knows the bullying child and can also help your child and give advice on how to handle the bully. You can also meet with them and find out if there are any programs they know that can help prevent bullying in the school or any other tips they can offer from their personal experiences with the children at school.

Help Your Child Dear With Bullying At School Tip #7: Talk to Other Adults

Talk to other adults that could watch your child for you. You may know someone that volunteers at school on the playground or at lunch break so they can be aware of what is happening and can keep an eye on things for you.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #8: Enroll them in Self-Confidence Classes

Enroll your child in a self-confidence class, like Tae-Kwon-Do or marshal arts. It is important to build up their self-confidence and this could help your child. Anything that can build up their self-confidence as a person is great for your children.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #9: Purchase Some Books on Bullying for your child

There are many great books out there to help your child with bullying. If you read the book with them, this opens up the opportunity for them to open up about the things that are happening to them. Here are some books that are recommended by the National Center of Bullying Prevention that are age appropriate for your child.

Bootsie Barker Bites by Barbara Bottner (ages 3 - 8)
A book about yard bullies

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes (ages 3 - 8)
Chrysanthemum gets teased at her first day of school because of her name.

Arthur's April Fool by Marc Brown (ages 4 - 8)
Arthur worried about remembering his magic tricks for April Fool's Day and Binky's threats to pulverize him.

Thank you, Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco (ages 4 - 8)
Classmates tease a girl because she has a reading and learning disability.

Recess Queen by Alexis O'Neil (ages 4 - 8)
The Biggest bully on the school playground is challenged by a new girl at school.

King of the Playground by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor (ages 4 - 8)
A young boy overcomes his fear of a boy who will not let him on the playground.

My Secret Bully by Trudy Ludwig (ages 5 - 8)
A girl confides to her mother that her best friend is treating her badly, and together they figure out what to do.

Hooway for Wodney Wat by Helen Wester (ages 5 - 8)
Classmates make fun of someone because of a speech impediment.

Nobody Knew What to Do by Becky Ray McCain (ages 6 - 9)
When bullies pick on a boy at school, a classmate is afraid, but decides he must do something.

The Hundred Dress by Eleanor Estes (ages 8 - 10)
A Classic, award winning book about prejudice and understanding

Just Kidding by Judy Ludwig (ages 8 - 12)
This book addresses the topic of teasing and emphasizes that jokes make people feel bad and can damage self-esteem.

Amelia's Bully Survival Guide by Marissa Moss (ages 8-12)
Amelia deals with a class bully.

Blubber by Judy Blume (ages 9 - 12)
A young girl goes along with tormenting a classmate and finds out what it is like to be a target herself.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #10: Keeping a Journal or Diary

Purchase a journal or diary for your child so that they can write down there feelings on paper. They need to get their feeling out somehow and if they are not expressing all their feelings to you, at least they have somewhere to write down how they feel and to release it from their minds.

Help Your Child Deal With Bullying At School Tip #11: Follow-Up

Follow-up with your child to find out how the bullying situation is going at school and what is or isn't working. Keep an open communication with them so that you know what is going on at school. Keeping an open communication with your child will also help them know that you care what is going on and that you are there to help assist them with the problems that they are facing in their daily life.

Sources and Resources:

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/mhs/recreading.asp

Personal Parent Experience