Parental Competition: An Unpleasant Surprise

It would be easy to say that I am most surprised about the amount of love I feel for my children, or how protective I feel of them. I could talk about how strange it felt to know that I could love a second child just as much as the first. But, while these things are most certainly true, I think the most surprising part of parenting for me has been how competitive parents are.

As soon as I announced my first pregnancy, it seemed like there were people lined up to discuss who gained more weight, who threw up more, who is more tired....the list goes on and on. I never competed well in this game because I never really understood the rules.

After my daughter arrived, these competitions turned to sitting up, crawling, first teeth, sleeping, etc. I believe society looked at her more as a statistic that a baby. She did well, though, sitting up and walking early; I believe we may have taken "Best in Show" at this stage.

Shortly after my eldest daughter's first birthday, I became pregnant again. This event brought out craziness from the women around me. Now, the women were struggling to figure out how to beat one reasonably well-behaved toddler with an infant sibling. That's apparently a tough challenge because at this point I heard more about the potential fighting between my kids that anything else. I believe this was the if-you-can't-beat-them-scare-the-bejeebers-out-of-them tactic.

By the time I had my third child, not quite 4 years after I had my first, I had finally found a way to tune everyone else out. My husband and I found our way with the parenting thing, without worrying about how our kids measured up or who had a better birthday party or anything else. And you know what? Our kids are turning out just fine.