Parental Fun on Halloween

Trick of treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. Damn it, I'm thirty. Am I really too old to trick or treat? Most children wish every day could be Halloween, except maybe Christmas and their birthday. They love dressing up in costumes, eating candy and running around the neighborhood at night with their friends. Who wouldn't love that? But is Halloween really a children's celebration? Who says the fun has to stop as we age? For ten fun things parents, not children, can do on Halloween read my list of ideas below.

1. Giving: In the spirit of giving, why not pump your friend's children full of sugar and candy? You can watch them get hyper, feel sick and then send them home!

2. Scaring: Everyone knows a child that deserves a good scare. It could be your own kid, your sister's kid or the kid next door. What better excuse could you have to dress up like a zombie and chase a child down the street? A few nightmares couldn't hurt, could they?

3. Movies: Only adults can watch the really good scary movies. Parents can put their kids to bed and watch all the great classics like Poltergeist, Halloween and Friday the 13^th. It's definitely more fun than watching Scooby Doo chase around phony ghosts dressed in a mask!

4. Candy: Parents can be bullies. They can send their children out to trick or treat and then steal the good candy when they go to sleep. If they have a full pillowcase, will they really miss it?

5. Decorate: As a parent you can choose how you want to decorate your house. If you don't want anyone to come, hang up strands of garlic on your front porch and claim you're superstitious of vampires!

6. Costumes: As a parent, you can dress up, act crazy and pretend it wasn't you. Kids are gullible and you can get away with murder. It's also a good excuse for skimpy outfits and role-play. Who wants to play Tarzan and Jane?

7. Pumpkins: Parents can have fun with pumpkins too. Jack-o-lanterns make good mood lighting for the bedroom. The innards can be used to make pies or face masks and who doesn't love a good food fight?

8. Dress-up: What parent doesn't love to play dress up with their kid? You can also dress up your dog. Aw, doesn't Fido look cute in his cat costume? Doesn't Stephanie make a good ladybug?

9. Party: Halloween is a great excuse for a party and parents know how to party. Kids parties are boring; they don't have Tequila. Beer makes apple-bobbing fun!

10. Tick or Treat: When parents take their children door to door, they can bring their own treat. On Halloween, it's okay to walk the streets with a thermos of booze. Well not legal, just overlooked!

As parents, we pretend our kids have all the fun. We let our kids think that grown ups are boring. We don't want them to wish they were adults any more than they do. School is awesome; it's work that sucks. No, driving a car isn't really that great. You get to play while I clean the house. Who needs a computer or iPhone when you have Barbie's and blocks? Independence is overrated!