Parental Gender Selection - Pros and Cons

Gender selection is something that continues to become more of a hot button issue as time goes on. The processes of gender selection have all kinds of drawbacks and advantages, but I will discuss some of the pros and cons of the concept of gender selection below. When my wife and I felt it was time for our second child I began to investigate gender selection. We had a son and so I thought it'd be nice to have a daughter. We tried several different techniques and wound up with another son. At first it was hard to deal with but I can't imagine life without him now. So here are some lessons I walked away from that experience with.

Pros

If gender selection works it allows you to plan your family the way you want. You could have the "perfect" family of 1 boy and 1 girl (at least that's what a lot of people consider perfect).

It Could be used to avoid specific genetic diseases. This may actually be more of a benefit than you think of at first. Certain traits are passed down through gender based sides of the family. If your mom had cervical cancer and your wife's mom had cervical cancer it would be wise to consider having a boy and not a girl. In my family we have a recessive Cleft Palate gene and I know it follows the girls side, also women on my side of the family tend to have uterine issues and end up getting hysterectomies in their 30's. An issue to consider if we had been successful in our attempts for a girl.

Some families use gender selection to ensure a family lineage will continue. Family name's are traced through the male's side (usually) and so to make sure a given family name survives it would be nice to guarantee at least one boy. My dad wanted one of the grandkids to carry his name and there aren't many boys in our family tree.

Increasingly, due to stem cell research, families are having children to save a sibling of a specific gender that needs medical help. Sometimes it's not just a child but a parent or cousin as well.

Depending on your country you may want to avoid a specific gender for legal restrictions or to honestly spare a child a miserable life in an extremely gender biased culture. In many cultures girls are aborted, killed, or left for dead due to their (supposed) low value. This is a huge problem in India and Africa. India has even passed legislature banning abortion in certain cases due to the sex of the fetus.

Some families wish to let people know the gender (possibly name) of a child if that person may not live to see the child. If your father was dying and you wanted to pass his name on being able to choose a boy to do so would enable you to fulfill this dream.

Cons

If you don't get the child you want you may not appreciate the child. It can be an emotional roller coaster if you wanted one gender and got the other. The parents (specifically the mother)can take it very personally and the child can grow up with an "I wasn't wanted" feeling. This is probably the second biggest issue when it comes to gender selection. This happens even with people who aren't attempting to choose gender and are simply misinformed by an ultrasound technician that made a mistake.

There are ethical questions arising from gender selection. It can cause a very heated debate amongst your peers about your choice to use gender selection. A lot of people see it as unnatural or even breaking religious traditions. They see it as playing God with nature and biology.

You may inadvertently inflict a genetic disease on your child. If you or your spouse are carriers for a genetic disease you may not know it and unwittingly choose the gender that would be afflicted by this disease. If you're serious about choosing a gender you should get genetic counseling done first to see if their any hidden skeletons lurking in your family closet.

You may change your mind later. Having the ability to choose the gender of your child starts opening a Pandora's box of potential issues. What happens if I wanted all girls and your dream is ruined when you begin to think of a baseball team of boys after you had your first girl. So convenience takes over where before randomness produced a cherishing feeling. Human life begins to take an assembly line value.

Your children may want a different gendered sibling after all if mommy and daddy can choose why can't the kids have input. You may start getting pressure from grandparents, relatives, or other friends to have a child gendered one way or the other. This could be a huge point of contention between you and your loved ones.

Gender selection has caused a wide difference in the numbers of men versus women in some countries were it is practiced. China has 105 boys to every 100 girls, and India is fast approaching 115 boys per 100 girls. This is causing huge issues with men looking for future wives as well as other huge issues there. See http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=there-are-more-boys-than-girls for more info about that specific issue.