Parenting 101: How to Prevent Risky Teen Behavior

The types of problems teenagers face today can seem extremely complex and may seem overwhelming for parents. Imagine what it's like for your teenage children facing these problems without the maturity of an adult, little or no life experience, and negative pressure from peers. For teens, it must seem like the whole world is pushing down on them at times.

When your teens were younger, you made sure they wore a helmet to prevent a head injury if they fell off their bicycle, or cautioned them when they engaged in some risky behaviors. Well, now it's a whole different world. The problems are bigger and the consequences of those problems are more serious. Some of those problems and consequences will be life-changing moments for your teenager. As a parent, you need to stay one step ahead of your kids if possible. Here are some tips to help you do just that.

Healthy, Open Communication Between Parents and Teens is Critical

One thing I have noticed in my own teen children is their inability to handle the many emotions they're experiencing. As parents, we need to remember that teenagers are experiencing these emotions for the first time. Add to that the many other changes going on at school, in their bodies, and with the whole world around them. Teenagers live in a world where not much is certain.

A good parent knows this and provides a secure, safe place where their kids can vent and deal openly with these sometimes confusing emotions. Encourage your teenager to express what they are feeling in a healthy and positive way. Never refer to emotions as good or bad. Your child might get the idea that "bad" emotions should be stuffed or ignored. That is not healthy. Let your kids know that all emotions are healthy and that what matters is how they handle those emotions.

Make Time to Get Involved in the Life of Your Teenager

These days, it's hard enough to be actively involved in the life of your teenager within a normal situation, whatever normal might be. For most families, being apart because of divorce, separation, work, school, or some other reason is normal. Parents need to know that the lives of children are already swimming in uncertainty. So, do whatever you can to become an active presence in their life. If you're in their life, it's going to be much easier to spot an oncoming or developing problem and possibly prevent it before it becomes a bigger problem. Make time to get involved in their life.

Clear Boundaries For Teenagers Are So Important

Teenagers already have so many boundaries in their life. A good parent knows that it's part of a teenager's purpose in life to push, test, and even break some boundaries, so be careful when considering setting even more boundaries. You really have to choose your battles here. When setting these boundaries or limits, be sure they are clearly understood. Kids are experts at manipulating what a parents says to fit their own agenda and try to find loopholes in the rules. Remember, it's their nature to test boundaries.

Decide what boundaries are absolutely hard line limits, and which boundaries can be stretched without much consequence. For example, boundaries on drug use should be absolute, hard-line, you-better-not-go-there type boundaries. If a kid forgets to make his bed one morning, well that can be stretched, even overlooked a few times. When your child breaks a rule, make sure that the punishment fits the severity of the offense. The way in which you deal fairly with your responses to a child's inappropriate behavior will show them that you can indeed be trusted, and that's a good thing for any relationship.

Remember that teenagers are designed to be boundary testers. It's part of the growing-up process. Remember that you are a parent, and have a responsibility to raise your child in the best way possible. Your child is unique and you must determine what is best for them. Experts may have a lot of advice on how to raise kids in general, but they don't know your kids the way you do. As a parent, it is your responsibility to spot, identify, and help prevent your teenager's risky behavior before it happens.

Sources:

YourFreeParentingTips.com; "Separate Useful Parenting Advice from the Not-So-Useful"

MentalHelp.net; "Parenting Style and Its Correlates"

NICHD.NIH.com; "RPM3: How responding, preventing, monitoring, mentoring, and modeling can help you be a successful parent"