Parenting the ADHD Child: Deciding on Medication

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is an invisible disorder. An outsider watching a child in full on ADHD mode may easily come to the conclusion that the child is undisciplined, bratty and uncaring. In fact, such behavior is oftentimes the precursor to the ADHD diagnosis. In our family, we spent many hours meeting with daycare teachers, our son's pediatrician and more in order to determine why he was unable to cope with his excess energy, why he made impulsive decisions, and why he had so many "naughty" daily reports. We knew our son wasn't malicious or mischievous and we knew it bothered him that "being good" was so out of reach. He was labeled as a problem and we were devastated wondering where we went wrong.

Despite the perception that these children are discipline problems and deliberately misbehaving, in many cases, nothing could be further from the truth. With ADHD putting up constant roadblocks to success, it can be very difficult for young children to dig deep to find the skills to function in school, at home and elsewhere. During our diagnosis period, I would have given anything to find out that our son's problems were just a phase he would grow out of. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and we then had to look at the best ways to even the playing field for him to give him the biggest chance at success.

Behavior modification is key. Changing the diet to reduce sugar and artificial flavors and colors is another good choice. But we knew that in order to make these changes work, we needed to discuss medication.

Imagine, if you will, that you have broken your ankle. You have no idea how to walk with your injury. You are immobile and in a great deal of pain. Your doctor teaches you how to walk with crutches and prescribes medicine for the pain. And then he or she sends you out without giving you the crutches you need. You will find you have to compensate even more to walk and minimize the pain. It can be very similar with ADHD. Without the medication giving your child the tool he or she needs to minimize the inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsivity, the behavior modifications and diet changes prove to be even more difficult. Once your child has the tools to allow them to settle down, to listen and to focus, they can begin to understand the changes they need to adopt in their behavior.

We have tried several different medications and we have also tried different dosages. Over time we have come to understand which works best for our son and as he has grown older we have seen his maturity increase. With the right dosage and just more life experience, he has been able to work towards identifying when he needs to change his behavior and when he has made a bad decision and what he could do to change it. The medication has not changed his personality; rather we are able to see who he truly is. When he can concentrate and calm down, he is funny, affectionate, considerate and someone we truly enjoy being with. He is not a zombie, sitting in the corner.

But the bottom line in making our decision for medication came from our son, himself. We asked him if he would be interested in trying medicine that would make behaving easier for him. It only took seconds for him to say he wanted it. And his next question? "Can I start it today?"

ADHD is hard for everyone. We have had to develop more patience and understanding as parents. But at the heart of the matter, we want to make life as healthy and happy as we can for our child. And he is just happiest when he has the tool to become responsible for his own actions. To live a happy life with friends and family. And that has made the decision of medicating a simple one for us. Because in our situation, it is truly what is best for him.