Parenting Autistic Children : Instant Reward

"I want, I want, I want..." Most parents dread this outcry. It means their child will be throwing a fit when the answer is no. Most parents of autistic children wish they could have it so easy with a verbal warning from their child.

Autistic children seem to cry for no reason. Sometimes parents of autistic children can guess correctly what their child wants. Sometimes the child just wants to cry. Reasoning will work for most normal toddlers, but autistic children do not understand rewards or consequences. Visualization is all that matters to them. If you want the autistic child to do what you want you coax them with what they love and they will not even know it.

As a parent to an autistic child, one of the biggest problems I have encountered is tantrums in public. The screaming, the stares, the "looks" can all be a little much for a mother of an autistic child to endure. The mother of an autistic child does not have the luxury of talking the child out of their tantrum. Most situations call for the child to be physically removed from where he or she is and held or restrained, depending on circumstances.

For parents without autistic children, think of the worst two year old toddler you know. The two year old can pose the same problem at times when he or she wants something and a tantrum ensues. The only difference is the "normal" two year old child can be reasoned with and worst case, punished.

The "normal" two year old child will end their tantrum usually quickly if they do not get their way and they have consequences. The autistic child will continue their tantrum beyond reasoning and sometimes will even hurt themselves. Instant change and reward must be implicated by the parent of an autistic child if the parent wants to control the situation.

Parenting an autistic child is like parenting a perpetual two year old that does not speak and will not reason. The parent will be worn down before the end of the day, but with persistence and perseverance the parent can get the desired affect from the child.

The parent needs to learn and understand their child. The bond a parent has with an autistic child lasts forever and the love can be felt by the child even if he or she cannot reciprocate it. The parent will know he or she has done the best they could for their child and has helped the child understand the world and become part of society.

To get the autistic child through his or her tantrum the parent must first figure out what causes the tantrums and try to avoid or change the situations. Parents must learn what causes the "meltdowns". Once the cause is realized the parent can change the reaction.

If your child has a favorite toy or activity that can be taken wherever the child goes, this can be used as a tool to get your child to act the way you would like him or her to act. Instant gratification for changing one's behavior would be an instant reward of what the child likes. For example, my autistic son loves bubbles. I take bubbles with me and when we get ready to leave somewhere he wants to stay at and I think he will melt-down, I just pull out the bubbles. This gets him to willingly follow me without thinking of what he is giving up. This may not always work so be prepared to change the rewards and worst case scenario, physically remove the child from the situation.

Know your child's likes and dislikes. Use your child's reasoning to get the desired behavior you want. An instant reward will work much better for an autistic child than trying to reason with the child. When all else fails remove or restrain the child. Use those techniques as last resorts.