Parenting: Is Dad's Way Better or Different?

Parenting these days requires a whole bunch of patience, smarts, and intuition. Both moms and dads handle parenting differently. This is probably due to the roles men and women assume in daily life, and the fact that men and women are just different in some ways. In an ideal world, it is better for kids to have the best from both mom and dad. Sometimes mom has a better way of parenting, sometimes dad's way is better. One thing is for certain, they are almost always going to be different. For the purposes of this article, let's take a look at some of the ways dads handle parenting.

Dads Don't Get Caught Up in the Details

This difference between men and women is illustrated best by a comedian who notices that his wife has a new dress. Being an attentive spouse, he wants to ask where his wife got the dress, but he knows if he does then there is always a long story that comes with the answer. Men are different about these things than women. Men, fathers want to cut to the chase, get only the most basic, essential information. Yes, fathers will handle conflict differently, but is this always the better way? When it's the end of a long day, you just don't have the energy to deal with kid's squabbling, and you're hungry-yes, it's the better way. Dad's way typically ignores the details and quickly gets to the heart of the matter. However, this is not always the best approach. Sometimes kids need a nurturing, listening parent to help them through a problem or challenge.

Dads Are More Likely to Act Like Kids

Now, I'm certainly not saying that mom's aren't fun but it does seem it's a bit easier for dad's to be more like kids. Perhaps it's because dad has been around adults all day at work and acting like a kid is a welcome relief to a hard day. When mom is home all day with the kids, her role is the authority, peace-keeper, and guardian of the home. These are all very adult roles. It's hard for a mom to shift gears and become a fun-loving comrade of her children. Dad's can just walk in, throw his coat on the couch and easily get on the floor and start wrestling with his children. Is this always the better way? Not always. Yes, kids need to see this side of their parents, but when necessary, parents also need to be adults no matter what the children want.

Dad's Way to Teach Kids How to Solve a Problem

The best way to illustrate this is with a story. Going swimming was a big part of my childhood. Mom would always be close to me when learning to swim, never letting go of me. Swimming with Dad was an entirely different affair. Dad would almost always encourage me to do things that were just beyond my abilities, like the way he taught me about swimming, swimming a certain distance underwater, or diving from a high dive. I felt safe with both parents. Mom held me close, never allowing any risk. Dad was always watching, close and ready to jump in and save me if needed. What I learned from my dad gave me the ability to take risks, to learn through taking those risks, and what could happen if I wasn't careful. Was his way of parenting better or different? The answer is yes.

Sometimes, dad's way of parenting kids is better. Sometimes it's not. Most times, in spite of their differences in handling kids, mom and dad working as a team is going to be the absolute best way to handle just about any family issues or challenges. I think dads who truly love their children and want to see them get the best out of life should be allowed to father their own kids. Dads handle parenting kids differently. Sometimes that way of parenting kids is going to be different. Sometimes that way of parenting kids is going to be better. If dad is giving his best to be a great parent, then what more can be expected?

CNN.com; "The 'daddy' way: Celebrate parenting differences"

Deseret News.com; "BYU study: Good parenting all about the right 'dad-itude'"