Parenting the Gifted Child

Parenting a child who is more advanced than his or her peers can be a challenge. These children may walk and talk earlier than other children, but they are still babies. That is hard to remember when your one-year old is speaking to you in complete sentences!

The real challenges begin when your son or daughter reaches the age where they can reason properly with you and may even show more intelligence than the parents. Considering that we as parents are supposed to have all the answers, at least for the first decade of our children's lives, this can be quite disconcerting.

Experts agree that parenting a gifted child is a tricky business. You need to remember the age of the child. Although he may be able to discuss political and moral ethics with the top adults in their fields, he is still emotionally immature. In fact, children with high IQs tend to have lower EQs!

All parenting can be difficult, but you will need to shield your intelligent child from some things that he might not be ready for at his age. For example, a twelve year old who is starting college courses is going to be exposed to very different influences and friends than one who is still in middle school and he might not be equipped to deal with this.

It is the parent's job to hold their gifted child back when the occasion warrants it. If you feel that the emotional harm that could befall your son or daughter is greater than the benefit, it is well worth keeping him or her home and extra year or two.

Parenting means making hard choices and sometimes being the bad guy. If you say no to your child when he really wants something that you feel is not appropriate, be prepared for a struggle. It happens in every relationship and will happen in with an intelligent child as well! They are not immune to power struggles.

Another big parenting challenge with gifted children is deciding whether or not to put them into a regular school or a school for advanced students. This depends greatly on the child's personality and character. If he is extremely interested in academics and willing to try new things, switching schools is probably a good thing. However, a shy child who has a few friends may prefer not to move, although the work is dull. Yet other parents choose to home school, allowing their advanced child to work at his own pace.

Finding out that you have one or more gifted children can change your parenting style. You might be tempted to treat your children as fellow adults, but this is a mistake as they are still kids and need parental guidance, not friends.

While parenting a gifted child can be a long, hard road, it is also a rewarding one that should be enjoyed to the fullest. That can be done only by treating them like a child still, with love and respect and encouraging them to flourish in the areas they excel in.