Parenting: How to Handle the Messy Room Syndrome

The battles are endless. The lines have been drawn, crossed, and drawn again. No peace treaties in sight. No United Nations to mediate, or referees to keep sportsmanlike behavior. I look down the hallway to see doors -- closed, shut -- hiding the clutter and catastrophes that linger in my children's rooms. It is a battle that has been fought for ages and no one wins.

Until now. Here are several tips for easing the bedroom blues by age group.

Preschoolers: This group just hasn't learned or is overwhelmed by too many toys. Best bet is to box up excess toys. Leave about a dozen out of varying sizes. Put the rest in one of those Rubbermaid containers and stash it in the closet. Open shelves or boxes (under the bed works well) are easier for younger children to handle. A great big open wicker basket offers ease of stashing and grabbing. Rotate toys once a week to keep your toddler entertained but still limited on quantity. For those that haven't learned yet, five minutes of parental help will give encouragement. Make it a game. Count who picks up the most. (Let them win this one!) A few weeks of this should help make it a habit. Let them get a head start and eventually you'll not pick up anything.

Smaller grades: Again, excess of toys can be an issue. Laziness can also strike, as with my daughter. Our solution: we again boxed up toys and stashed the containers out of her room to keep from opening them. For every week she kept what she had left picked up, she was allowed to get an item back. You know your child and what they are capable of. Stash and hide offering the incentive. If the room stays messy, than you need to remove more items until it can be kept clean. You'll get a fight; don't expect otherwise. But stick to you guns and they'll come to understand you mean business.

Older elementary/ middle school grades: This age group just seems to be messy. Allow them some mess but restrict them to the closet. It's a good age to learn compromise and this is an excellent way to teach the concept. You can either ground or claim items not properly "hidden" but this pre-teen early teen stage is already experimenting with the rebellion aspect. Compromise can diffuse some of that. With it contained to closets, my son, is willing to clean the rest. Of course, understand that means dumping it into the closet....

Highschool grades: Well, by now, this could indeed be a losing battle. The compromise could still work if your teen is the non confrontational type. For those that seem to enjoy picking an argument, ignoring the room status could be the best strategy. Afterall, you can close the door and they are the ones that have too root to find anything. (P.S. -- at this stage, make them do their own laundry so you don't rewash the same item ten times before it ever gets worn....)