Parenting an Independent Child

Parents love to teach their children how to be independent and learn to do things on their own at a young age. This helps develop the child's personality. At times though independence can lead to bad habits. Some things that independent children do which are hard to deal with enjoy being picky eaters, refusing to nap, hard to discipline, etc. Here are some tips on how to deal with these behaviors and how to limit their frequency.

1. Refusing To Take A Nap- Find out what might be causing your child to refuse to take a nap. Are their too many distractions in his room? If so, limit the number of toys that are in eyesight. Children also start to refuse to take naps when they are getting too big for their bed. This is a good time to transfer them into a toddler bed to help encourage them to sleep. If your child attends preschool and takes naps there, find out the routine the skill performs before nap time and repeat that at home.

2. Biting- Biting is a stage many children go through. It can be a very frustrating time at a parent. Make sure your child knows in no uncertain terms that biting is not allowed in your house. Never act like you are biting them during playing or rough housing, this will send mixed messages to your child. If your child bites, stop the activity you are doing and give them a time out immediately.

3. Hitting- Hitting is very similar to biting. Children are destined to learn this at some point whether it is from television or more likely from interacting with other children. Explain to your child that you do not approve of hitting. This message must be repeated any time your child is hitting anything. If your child hits any other person, including yourself you must discipline them when the action occurs. Do not wait until later, as your child will not relate the punishment to their action.

4. Becoming a Picky Eater- A child becoming a picky eater is natural. Do not get frustrated as a parent if your child changes from eating everything you offer to only eating a few select items. This is perfectly normal. As a parent you can encourage him to eat new foods though by adding these to a meal along with his favorite foods. Give him small portions of new foods to try at first until you find other foods he enjoys eating. As a child gets older you can enforce eating what you serve them more strenuously by insisting they finish their dinner at the table. Until a child is about eight years old though, be prepared to be slightly flexible and creative in introducing new foods.

5. Refusing To Take Baths- Many children go through this stage, and it is nothing to panic over as a parent. Make bath time a fun time. Find bath toys that your child enjoys playing with. Introduce your child to bubble baths and do this as a special treat once or twice a week if they enjoy it , as a reward for taking baths when instructed. Make baths a part of your regular routine, this way your child will realize it is something that is just part of their day and they must do it.

6. Running Away In A Crowd- This can be a very dangerous habit of a child. Make sure your child knows that you need to have him or her with you, and it makes you very upset if you can not see them. Tell them that sometimes there are people that aren't very nice around, and by being with you, you will protect them from "mean people" as their parent. If this fails, consider buying a child leash. They make some that have plush toys that strap to your child's back so they can be fun for your child and helpful to you as a parent.

7. Becoming Stubborn- As parents we want to do everything we can to both protect our children and make them happy. From an early age we cater to all of their needs. As a parent this can eventually lead to your child being known as a "spoiled child". To eliminate this, as your child gets older do not give in to all of his wishes. Do what is necessary to keep your child safe, but it is not your responsibility to do everything your child requests. Tell your child that just because you say "no" doesn't mean you don't love them. Let them know you love them very much, but that you can't always do everything they want.

8. Favoring One Parent- Do not worry about this. Children's behaviors run in cycles. Just because you think that your child might be favoring one parent or another don't overreact to it. This is a natural thing, and your child's favorite parent will change from time to time. If one parent is extremely upset about this though, have the parent that is the favorite at the time encourage your child to play with the other parent. This might be as a group with both parents. Your child loves both of you, again do not take this personally when it occurs.

9. Refusing To Ride In A Grocery Cart- Give your child a little independence. Explain to him that on short trips at the grocery store as long as your child stays right with you, you will allow them to walk with you. Explain to them that on longer trips though that they need to ride in the cart, and it is a reward on the shorter trips for good behavior to be able to walk without sitting in the card at the grocery store. Make it clear to your child when they are walking with you that if they run away or misbehave that they will go back into the grocery cart.

10. Fighting With Other Children- It is only natural for minor conflicts to occur between children. As long as nobody is hurt physically, you can actually allow a minor fight to occur when it starts. After the fight though, make sure your child understands that he has upset the other child and that the other child is sad. Ask your child if they want that other child to be sad. Most independent children don't think of the feelings of others without having them pointed out to them. Once you do this, ask your child to tell the other child he is sorry.

Parenting an independent child, especially a toddler can be very challenging. The rewards are greater than the challenges though. As long as you are consistent in your reactions and follow these steps, your independent child will learn to socialize and that he or she can not control everything in their environment.