Parenting: A Lesson on Love

If you went back in time and asked the five-year old version of me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", my answer would most definitely be "a mommy and a teacher".

I started on the path to become a teacher, but opted for a business degree instead. I then set my degree aside and became a stay-at-home mother. While my occupational goals may have changed, my desire for motherhood never wavered. When I became a mother, I quickly realized that parenting requires more effort than I could have ever imagined and more patience than most of us have. I also discovered that I had never truly understood love until the moment I laid eyes on my first child.

When my firstborn received his vaccinations at his two-week doctor visit, the ramifications of true love hit me square in the face. Granted I was a little overly-hormonal at the time, but as I held my baby and let the nurse stick him with needles I felt like I was dying inside. I sobbed as he sobbed, and for the first time I realized what it's like to truly feel the pain of your child. I had felt pain for others before becoming a mother, but it wasn't even close to the same thing. The urge to keep him from feeling pain was stronger than anything I've ever experienced.

There is a lot I didn't know before becoming a mother. I didn't understand that the sheer exhaustion that comes from staying up all night with a baby is a lot different from the exhaustion that comes from staying up all night with friends. I didn't understand how many decisions have to be made every day, and the constant fear that you're making the wrong ones. But most of all, I didn't understand love.

We've been through a lot since those first shots. Two years later, I held my sick toddler while doctors and nurses repeatedly tried to start an IV. We've had hospital stays, bumps, bruises, and hurt feelings. None of it has been easy, but all of it has taught me the true meaning of love.