Parenting: My MySpace Story

When I joined My Space two years ago, my cousin (a true My Space guru) swore to me that it would take over the world. I put very little into that statement, but found that the site was a nice way to keep up with friends and family. It saved much money in phone calls and much time listening to detailed summaries of loved ones lives. Slowly, I have built up my comments section, incorporating lewd videos and inappropriate pictures from around the world.

I have spent hours of down time each week (whether at work or home) giggling over pictures of hideous feet and perusing a never-ending list of free music. I was delighted when, last week, someone sent me a cartoon of an old lady wearing her swim suit backwards on a public beach (things were spilling out everywhere). About a month ago, I received a video of a woman with the longest toenails in the world (yes, I have a foot fetish). They were painted bright red and the mid-thirties woman used a scooter to transport herself as the nails limited her choices in shoes.

There is plenty of ripped abs to study and scantily dressed girls are unavoidable. I receive daily requests to join webcams that swear I will make enough money to quit my job (if they are asking me, Lord knows they aren't too particular). Back in January, I received a video of a four year-old hitting a blunt like he'd been doing it for years. I tell ya, this site is great.

My "space" came crashing down upon me with two, little words: Friend Request. I looked long and hard at the picture before me, certain that I was not looking at the face of my twelve year-old step-daughter's twelve year-old friend. You see, I was rather confused. I mean, it looked like Cara (I changed her name-protect the "innocent"), long hair, braces. But, this girl was listed as fifteen, so it just couldn't have been her.

Several days later, I was standing with my step-daughter and her friend, when Madison (the step-daughter) said,

"Cara, I sent you a comment yesterday. Did you get it?" She looked at me as though she really had eaten a canary. I raised an eyebrow and shook my head.

"Crap," she cried, "now you're gonna tell dad. I'm in so much trouble." It didn't take long for me to catch what she meant. You see, Madison's dad vetoed the site some time ago. I'm not sure, but I think it had something to do with the fact that you must be fourteen to use it.

"Oh," I said sarcastically, "I won't be telling your dad anything." A look of pre-emptive relief washed over her face. "You will be telling him." Her expression sunk again.

Over the next week, while trying to avoid the drama this has caused at home, I searched the site, desperately trying to find the little heathen. When things began to look utterly hopeless, I did what I swore I would not. I reluctantly cleaned out my page, ridding it of all questionable material so that I could make Cara my "friend". Since her page was private, it was my only option to link myself to Madison. Once on Cara's page, I clicked on little Madison's picture. Of course, her page was set as private, so my investigation was cut short at her picture, hometown, and age. Like Cara, Madison had turned fifteen without anyone's knowledge. Kids grow up so fast these days, don't they? God is she in so much trouble.