Parenting is not for the weak of heart and mind.

Being a parent to me personally, is both ultimately humbling and empowering at the same time. I discovered that I had weaknesses and strength that I never even imagined. It was and still is the greatest gift and responsibility that I could have been entrusted with and has made me both a much better and also a stronger person then I ever was before.

Here are five ways my life changed after I became a Parent.

#1 Being taught that the smallest thing can undo you.

No matter how tough I might have thought I was before I had my children, I was taught in a hurry that they were my Achilles heel. The thought of loosing them, the fear of them being hurt, and the mere idea of someone harming my little monsters was enough to undo me. Watching them learning hard life lessons, which I knew I had to allow them to learn on their own, was quickly becoming torturous. For example dealing with school bullies was one of those things that they had to learn to do for them-selves. Lord was that one hard to sit back and not step in all the time. As I had to sit back and let them take their licks before they finally learned how to react in ways that would back the school bully off in a hurry, it was as if someone was tearing my heart out. Watching my kids fall, get their bruises, pay the consequences for false actions was painful to say the least, but I had to learn right along with them, that Mom couldn't fix everything for them. I think the hardest times were when they would look at me with those big pleading eyes and I had to say "No, you can do it by yourself!"

Now of course many years later as they all are grown up, I know that this was the right thing to do. Yet back then, it felt almost cruel.

#2 They learn from your behavior, even if you don't think they notice.

As you grow up and even later on as a young adult you get taught that you need to watch out for number one - number one of course being you. As soon as you have children so, all this ends! Suddenly, you are no longer the most important or even second important priority on a long list of things. You need to be willing and able to step back almost all the time when it comes to something you want. Your children's needs need to be well before your wants and even your own needs.

I raised three children, and I can remember times when we had very little food in the house. During those times I would feed my children and my husband first until they were full, with the knowledge that there would probably be nothing left over for me. I used to get really good at lying to my kids and tell them that I was full and had already eaten. That is until they got older and would pay more attention. That was when I had one of the most humbling experiences in my life. My kids (4, 6, and 8) sat at the kitchen table and once again I knew that I would not have enough to eat for all of us, sat with them and pretended that I had already eaten. My husband was digging into his meal, while my kids would not touch their food. I looked at them and asked them what was wrong. Their answer was: "We are not hungry either Mommy, we ate with you earlier, don't you remember?" Can you say busted? Then my oldest went, got a small plate and each one took a little bit off their plate to put on the one she had brought to the table. "We eat, when you eat Mom!" From that day on, my kids would refuse to eat unless they either had actually seen me eat or I was eating with them; even if it was only a couple of bites.

Another such "teaching them" moment without realizing it was when it came to watching out for each other. If one of my children was not feeling well, I would set aside my own entertainments and spent time with the little "sicky boo". It was just such a normal thing for me to do and of course it was what I should be doing as a Mom. You know how you are always taught about "me time"? Well there is a time and a place for "me time", it isn't when your kid is sick.

As they grew up they started realizing what I was doing, and suddenly when Mommy was sick, it was my kids who would run and get me tea, some soup or sit and read to me. They started watching over me, as I had done all along for them.

As you can teach them positive by your own behavior, sadly you can teach them negative as well. I had done that too without realizing it quiet often. My kids would pick up bad language from me, and sometimes even pick up my "laziness". Since I was working, I was not always as neat as I should be when I was off. I learned in a hurry that this had to stop, if I wanted them to keep their rooms clean. The first time you are told: "Well Mom, you do it too!" you have one of two choices. You can teach them hypocrisy or you can straighten your behavior up. I tried to do the second whenever possible.

#3 Make up, fancy outfits and looking "hot" no longer matters.

Where before hand it was always extremely important that I would look my best at all times, now I learned that it was much more important that my kids looked their best at all times. That of course doesn't mean you suddenly have an excuse to turn into "super slob", but those 2 hours of getting ready are over.

When you only have so many minutes available before you go somewhere to get yourself and your children ready, guess who goes last. That is would be you!

Looking "hot" is for the night time after your kids are down to sleep if you can muster the energy. Yet during normal everyday activities, looking nice just has to be good enough. Forget buying fancy outfits unless you have a full time nanny. I can guarantee you, that your fancy outfit won't be very fancy for long when you actually interact with your kids. Yes, I am saying children are little dirt magnets.

I can truthfully say that thanks to my children I have mastered the art of 3 minute make-up. Just the basics please!

#4 The meaning of selfless love!

You ever want to know what selfless love really looks like, become a parent! Your children will be the greatest teachers on what forgiving, accepting and selfless love really look like. At least mine were.

As adults we usually only do something if there is something in it for us. As a parent that stops in a hurry. You will do things that you never thought you would do, if it comes to making sure your kids have what they need. Sometimes even to provide a few small things they want.

My children taught me what it means to forgive and to be forgiven. I wasn't a perfect parent, far from it. There were times when I was so overtired and worn out, that I would say things I should have never said in front of them. No matter if I yelled at them so, when they really didn't deserve it or if I said something I wanted to slap myself silly for later on, they always forgave me. The same went the other way around; there was nothing my kids would do that I could not forgive them for. That included breaking one of the few items I actually owned and brought with me from my home country. Something that could not be replaced later on. Was I angry? Of course I was, but nothing was as precious as those children to me. Forgiveness isn't all that hard when you see it that way.

As adults we have a hard time accepting people who look or sound different. Children don't have that. This is something that has to be taught to them. A child has an easy time accepting people no matter if they are "beautiful" or not. I guess they look more on the inside then on the outside. You ever want to know if someone is a good person, watch the way your child behaves towards them. If a kid moves away from someone or tries to hide from them, it isn't because of the way they look (unless of course they are wearing a scary mask), but because of something they feel coming from them.

#5 Your purpose for living!

Yes I mean this quiet literally. I used to deal with deep seated depression problems, which could flare up at any moment. They even would get so bad that I would contemplate and attempt suicide. Once I had children taking medication was no longer an option for me. Too many of them made me so drowsy or un-emotional that I could not interact in a healthy way with them. Can you say devils circle?

I remember a nightmare situation when they were young. My then husband had an emotional (perhaps even physical) affair with another woman. This woman was slowly taking my kids away from me and started behaving as if she was their mother. Of course that played wonderfully into his hands. The first time one of my kids started calling me by my first name, I knew what had happened. My kids were the only thing that kept me stable, and when I feared that I was loosing them, I fell into a deep depression. On a day when he once again had taken them to her house, I went to the bathroom, let a bath water in and took a butcher knife with me. Yes you can guess what I was planning. Just as I got into the tub, my front door opened and my middle child had come home. She was searching for me and found me in the bathroom, with me frantically trying to hide the knife. She saw it and asked me what I was planning on doing with that knife. I didn't answer, but she was old enough and smart enough to know.

That day, she sat herself at my bathroom door and told me the following: "I know that you would never willingly break a promise to me. You never have Mommy and you never will. I want you to promise me that you will NEVER even think about doing something this stupid again. You can't, because I always need you Mommy."

I made this promise and I can tell you that now many years later, I have never even considered or attempted suicide again. My children literally are the reason I am alive. I started actively researching and fighting depression without medication. I read hundreds of self help books. I tried dozens of different methods of keeping my brain balanced. Depression is not something that is just in your head, it is an illness. As with everything else, you can fight it, heal it or at least learn to control it. You can do it without harmful drugs, or medications that make you "zombie like". You do have to want to do it so, and trust me it isn't easy. Sometimes all you need so is one really good reason, and if your children aren't the best possible reason for you to want to get better, then I don't know what is.

As you can see, my children are truly my greatest treasure to me. I can truthfully say that it is because of them that I have become a much stronger person, a more stable person, a more loving person and a more determined person that I ever could have been without them.

Children are our greatest "resource"; I just wish more people would realize that. They are the most important responsibility you will ever take on in your life. There is no career more important then that of being a Parent. Here failure is not an option. You have to be willing to give it your 150% at all times.

If you are dealing with any sort of addiction or mental illness, remember that your children are paying the price for it. You don't always realize it, but when they have to watch a parent being "sick" like that, it can almost border on emotional abuse at time. Children think that they are the ones to blame, because simply if they would be better you wouldn't have to be that way. Don't do that to your kids, ever. If you realize that you have those conditions, fix them. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for them. Remember what I said, they are a lot more important then anything else in your life.

As I mentioned my children are all grown up now, but my responsibility as a Mom is far from over. Let's just say I went from being on duty 24/7 to being on call. Oh and you don't get combat pay either, or paid vacation in this "job", but the perks are out of this world.

Enjoy your children, love your children, take the life experiences they can teach you and treasure every single moment. Even the ones when you cry your eyes out, because you think you are going insane, as your kid is still screaming at 4 am in the morning and you haven't slept for 72 hours straight. You can do it, you can come through this and after being a parent everything else is possible!