Parenting Pre-Teens Who Love Music

As kids grow they change. Their likes and dislikes become more grown up. Once children discover the wonderful world of music many are hooked. Modern technology is different than when we were kids. It seems like now a days even all of the fourth graders are hooked up to cd players, mp3 players, and such. There are millions of songs to choose from, and to listen to.

When it comes to be the time that your child "get's into" music they too will most likely wish for a cd player or what have you. Is there anything wrong with allowing children such things? No, of course not. I feel that if the child is responsible enough to care for it and not break it then there's not a problem.

However, the cd player itself is absolutely harmless. The music that your child is listening to again and again should be as well.

There are so many songs in so many genres that it is impossible to count. There are love songs, hate songs, happy songs, and sad songs. There are positive song lyrics and there are negative song lyrics. There are sweet love songs and sexy love songs. There are so many types of songs that one does not know what type of song it will be until they have listened to it.

I am writing this because one of my kids just had a birthday. For his birthday I got him a CD player. He wanted it so very badly, for so long. The time finally came to where I knew he would be responsible for it's care.

The CD player arrived and we were delighted. He was thrilled and of course requested a CD! He wanted rock music. Okay. So I go and search through my cds. I find that even though my husband and I own tons of cd's there just are so few that I would actually feel comfortable with him listening to. For example, the song "Rock Star". It seems to be a very popular song, even with the kids. We do have the CD. He asked if I could burn him a copy. NO! I just can't do that. Something feels so wrong about him being able to listen to those lyrics again and again.

The response I got from him is a reply stating that the bus driver lets them listen to the radio and they hear that song on the bus. Yeah, they've heard it when we were driving to the grocery store too, on the radio. The way I explained it to him is the way I'll explain it to you...

Hearing songs is fun, yes. The song mentioned has a great beat and I know it's a "cool" song. However, the words of the song are not so cool. A beat doesn't make a song. The words of the song tell a message. I do not feel comfortable with that message being played over and over again and seeping into his little mind. Hearing a song on the radio once and a while is much different than hearing it thirty times per day. Kids generally only have a limited amount of cd's to choose from. They will play them again and again.

Well, the child ended up with a Bryan Adams CD. Then a Dj mix one which I thought would be safe. NOPE. Listen to them first. Don't assume that a fun dance mix or Dj mix CD will contain only fun and appropriate songs. Oh my goodness. There was a song on there that was not appropriate. He thought it was saying something else. Thank goodness. Please, listen to the music you give your children carefully.

The lyrics of the song that children listen to do very much send and teach your children messages. Now I am not coming down on Nickel back, I do like their music myself. They are talented singers. However, as a parent, I absolutely do not feel that "We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat" is an appropriate message to be teaching children. The kids love this song though! That's why kids have parents. To guide them and protect them from the messages that they are exposed to. See, I told him yes, it's a neat song, has a great beat. However, I also told him that to only pay attention to the beat when he hears it on the school bus radio. I let him know that the words to the song did not fall into the category of "appropriate" for kids. I had to make sure to tell him that not eating can make people very sick and the way to stay skinny is to choose healthy foods and keep active. That's what parents are supposed to do.

Can you imagine what message that song could send to little girls? Pre teen girls? That makes me sad. To think that girls are hearing it, and boys alike. Parents need to scan song lyrics before allowing their children to own cd's. When a child plays a cd again and again the messages totally get absorbed. The problem is that pre teens are refusing the little kid music. They don't want little kid music. They don't "do" sing-a-longs anymore. No way. The school bus radio station has them hooked and they love the rock music or the country music just as much as we do. The problem is that we are adults and can disregard inappropriate lyrics where as the children don't disregard them. They learn them, and believe them too.

Make sure to always listen to the songs you let your children have via tape or cd. If your child loves rock and refuses kid music think towards songs that have positive lyrics and messages, such a "Alive" by P.O.D., or maybe something by Creed. Something that's not angry, or too seductive. Make sure the messages are okay for children to receive. A pre teen child is easily influenced. Make sure the influence of the lyrics of the songs that they own is a positive one! Thanks for reading and take care!